


Texts Oh Texts

by EpicKiya722



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Artemis is the Ultimate Wingman, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Beyoncé References, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crazy This Is, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I love them both, Jealousy, Kaldur'ahm is Secretly a Troll, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Flirting, Platonic Relationships, Randomness, Raquel is Too, Raquel is the Ultimate Wingman, Roy is Both the Worst and Best Friend Ever, Roy is a HOPELESS Romantic, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Trolling, just because
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-06-14 10:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 18,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15386817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpicKiya722/pseuds/EpicKiya722
Summary: Sometimes, the Team isn't all together kicking ass and taking names. Sometimes, the Team isn't training together or watching terrible comedy movies. So, when they are apart, what they do? They chat with each other. Like crazy young adults they are.





	1. Why Are We Doing This?

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this on my birthday. Because I can. Also, I don't know where I'm going with this fic, but I'm enjoying writing it for sure! Helping with the pains, I tell ya!
> 
> Set about a year and a half after the ending of season 1.
> 
> Conner Kent/Superboy - superbrood  
> Kaldur'ahm/Aqualad - AquaKal21  
> M'gann M'orzz/Miss Martian - GreenAlienQueen  
> Artemis Crock/Artemis - Number1Archer  
> Raquel Ervin/Rocket - Blastoff  
> Dick Grayson/Nightwing - feelingtheaster  
> Wally West/Kid Flash - NotSpeedy  
> Zatanna Zatara/Zatanna - thebetterhoudini  
> Roy Harper/Red Arrow - redHarp

_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen created chat 'WELCOME PEASANTS!' and added superbrood, feelingtheaster and NotSpeedy** _   
_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster loggin in** _   
_**NotSpeedy loggin in** _

  


superbrood: what in the hell is this???   


NotSpeedy: that new chat app, Supes!  


superbrood: y r we using it?  


feelingtheaster: so we can text each other! duh! catch up with each other since we're not together all the time!  


superbrood: ...ugh  


GreenAlienQueen: Come on, Conner! it's not that bad! i think you'll like it! :)  


superbrood: i'll eventually have 2. u added me.  


NotSpeedy: i figure m'gann choose ur username 2?  


superbrood: i at least got to do that

feelingtheaster: n u know text talk???  


superbrood: i have no comment for that

  


_**Number1Archer logging in** _

  


Number1Archer: stop chatting n blowing up my phone. i'll end u all.  


NotSpeedy: nuh uh, babe. ur in this 2  


Number1Archer: well then u better add the others 2!  


NotSpeedy: anything 4 u <3  


superbrood: ew  


feelingtheaster: hetero-ness! no!  


NotSpeedy: shut up

  


_**NotSpeedy added thebetterhoudini, Blastoff, AquaKal21, and redHarp to 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'** _   
_**AquaKal21 loggin in** _   
_**Blastoff logging in** _   
_**redHarp loggin in** _   
_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _

  


redHarp: oh fuck no  


Number1Archer: i suffer, u suffer 2  


redHarp: something told me not 2 add this fucking app on my phone  


AquaKal21: ur so vulgar and yet i'm used 2 it  


thebetterhoudini: omg  


GreenAlienQueen: what?  


thebetterhoudini: Kaldur used text talk  


AquaKal21: ...  


AquaKal21: I'm still young  


redHarp: hard 2 believe sometimes  


AquaKal21: u r so lucky right now! i would drown u if u were near a huge body of water!  


redHarp: :)  


feelingtheaster: Roy, don't u ever use an emoticon again  


NotSpeedy: it's... weird...  


redHarp: so is u wearing a uniform similar to Professor Zoom's, but don't let me cramp ur style  


Blastoff: it does kinda look like his  


NotSpeedy: I'm changing my uniform. changing it.  


superbrood: which one is that? he's the creepy angry one with the weird black and red eyes, right?  


NotSpeedy: that's him.  


superbrood: okay.  


GreenAlienQueen: okay, so how is everyone?  


feelingtheaster: well, my little brother just leaped off the shelf and scared the shiznit out of me, but other than that i'm fine. :)  


redHarp: if i can't use that smiley face, u can't either!  


feelingtheaster: :(  


Number1Archer: i've got homework n i hate it.  


Blastoff: who does like homework?  


thebetterhoudini: i sure don't. >:(  


AquaKal21: i didn't.  


redharp: lucky we're not in school  


AquaKal21: i'm lucky i'm not going to school period  


NotSpeedy: what r u? a beauty school dropout?  


AquaKal21: technically... just not beauty school. i've never been 2 beauty school.  


Number1Archer: fooled me.  


AquaKal21: what's that supposed to mean?!  


Number1Archer: u look as if u have been 2 beauty school  


AquaKal21: u lost me  


Blastoff: no. he's definitely been to modeling school.  


AquaKal21: i've been to mystical arts school.  


superbrood: nope, u've been to modeling school.  


redHarp: A+ for the natural sharpness of ur cheekbones  


AquaKal21: what's is up with everyone and my cheekbones?!  


GreenAlienQueen: there beautiful!  


feelingtheaster: *they're*  


GreenAlienQueen: right!  


NotSpeedy: back 2 the importance of Kal's cheekbones  


AquaKal21: we r averting from that.  


Number1Archer: okay, let's talk about Zatanna's beautiful black hair

  
thebetterhoudini: Oh! how sweet! <3  



	2. The Better Archer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, don't know where I'm going with this n I don't want to adult.  
> Also, the Team does know who Dick is and at this time, he's just starting-just starting his hero career as Nightwing because I said so. Jason is his adoptive brother around this time so there's that reason.
> 
> And yes. I will be updating 'My Emotions!' soon.

_**Number1Archer logging in** _

 

Number1Archer: when u guys get this message, come and holla at me

 

 _ **GreenAlienQueen logging in**_  
 _ **NotSpeedy logging in**_  
 _ **AquaKal21 logging in**_  
 _ **thebetterhoudini logging in**_  
 _ **Blastoff logging in**_  
 _ **superbrood logging in**_  
_**feelingtheaster logging in**_

 

thebetterhoudini: holla at u? really?

Number1Archer: shut it. i'm sleep deprived.

AquaKal21: then as ur concerned friend, i advised u go 2 sleep more often.

Number1Archer: when Roy admits I'm a better archer

AquaKal21: ok

 

_**AquaKal21 added redHarp to 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _

 

redHarp: stfg wtf?!

superbrood: u should tell Artemis she's a better archer than u

redHarp: when she breaks up with Wally

NotSpeedy: hey!

Number1Archer: can't. i actually have a thing for the jerk.

NotSpeedy: :3

Number1Archer: never that face

feelingtheaster: ha ha. "never that face"

Blastoff: u gotta, Roy. u gotta admit she's a better archer than u so she can sleep.

redHarp: i actually like u, Raquel. i think you're a strong woman who kicks ass and rocks the sickest outfit while doing it, but i'm gonna have to disagree.

redHarp: her not sleeping is not my concern

Blastoff: 1, thanks! 2, it's so is. low-key, Artemis is ur lil sis n u have a soft spot 4 her.

redHarp: ew no.

Number1Archer: :)

redHarp: can't do it.

Number1Archer: :'(

redHarp: not doing it.

feelingtheaster: what can we offer 2 make u say it?

NotSpeedy: this is important, man! a sleepy Artemis is both cute and dangerous!

GreenAlienQueen: yup, it's official. wally and artemis r weird.

AquaKal21: we all are. Raquel is probably the most normal one though.

Blastoff: this is y he's my favorite!

thebetterhoudini: now about what roy wants so he can say Artemis is the better archer so she can sleep.

redHarp: i got it! Kaldur has to go on one date with me.

AquaKal21: looks like Artemis isn't getting any sleep.

superbrood: ha ha!

Number1Archer: Kaldur! how could u!

AquaKal21: easily. just saying 'no'.

redHarp: so no bro-date, huh?

AquaKal21: last time i agreed, i got STUCK in a fish tank.

AquaKal21: and no. there will be NO details!

thebetterhoudini: ah, fuck me sideways

feelingtheaster: well, Wally, prepare for a cranky girlfriend.

NotSpeedy: babe, i think ur a better archer than roy.

redHarp: n i think Danica is a better speedster than u.

NotSpeedy: ah! my feelings!

feelingtheaster: how's Grindr been?

Blastoff: i actually got that reference! :D

GreenAlienQueen: wait! Artemis, u had a question! what was it?

Number1Archer: u know what? i forget.


	3. Fries & Confusion

_**redHarp logging in** _

_**  
** _

redHarp: i'm just saying, Artemis is a pretty good archer.  


redHarp: she just won't be on my level.  


redHarp: that is all.

_**  
** _

_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**AquaKal21 logging in** _   
_**Blastoff logging in** _   
_**NotSpeedy logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster logging in** _   
_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _

  


Number1Archer: i wake up from a nap and that is what i see?  


Blastoff: salty  


feelingtheaster: salty than Atlanteans' bloodstream, hhhhooooo!  


AquaKal21: and suddenly i want to drown someone. i'll show you salty.  


NotSpeedy: hide, buddy, hide  


redHarp: hey, appreciate it, blondie.  


Number1Archer: at least u think i'm a good archer... even though i am better than u  


redHarp: that's like saying Conner doesn't wear black all the time.  


superbrood: i just so happen to like the color because Superman doesn't wear enough of it.  


Blastoff: Black is an awesome color. Looks good with neon colors.  


thebetterhoudini: it is an awesome color. so aesthetically pleasing.  


feelingtheaster: Bats would agree! :D  


NotSpeedy: i would bet. him and the rest of u.  


feelingtheaster: ur just jealous.  


NotSpeedy: that i'm not a furry? yes, i'm jealous.  


Number1Archer: taste the salt all the way over here  


thebetterhoudini: would go better with some fries.  


AquaKal21: i actually want some fries 2.  


Blastoff: same! ooh! we should totally go get some!  


AquaKal21: are we even in the same city?  


Blastoff: we'll just meet at the Hideout and go from there. I heard Happy Harbor has this good food place that has the best burgers or something.  


AquaKal21: sure, I'll go.  


superbrood: :)  


GreenAlienQueen: i c what's going on here.  


Blastoff: what?  


Number1Archer: aaaaawww, so cute!  


AquaKal21: i'm confused, but that's nothing new.  


redHarp: Kal, buddy, y didn't u tell me?  


AquaKal21: tell you what?  


NotSpeedy: double date. we should totally have a double date!  


feelingtheaster: didn't know you would go for one.  


NotSpeedy: competition.  


superbrood: they would beat u.  


Number1Archer: even i have to agree on that, love.  


Blastoff: it's so cute that u called him 'love', yet i'm still clueless as 2 what ur talking about?  


AquaKal21: the fries are more important right now, Raquel.  


Blastoff: right!  


thebetterhoudini: aren't u 2 adorable!  


AquaKal21: glad u think so?  


GreenAlienQueen: we know.  


Blastoff: know what?  


AquaKal21: yeah, i feel like i'm missing something.  


redHarp: i saw this coming.  


AquaKal21: ???  


Blastoff: ?????? :(  


superbrood: just go get ur fries. n pick me up some please?  


Blastoff: sure!  


AquaKal21: anybody else?  


feelingtheaster: can i get a sandwich? like a chicken sandwich or something?  


Blastoff: ur paying for it.  


feelingtheaster: but Conner!  


superbrood: i technically don't have my own financial source. so sucks on u. and me really. wait. i think i have a bank account.  


NotSpeedy: i bet it's from Luthor.  


superbrood: probably or Bats. i'll just go with u then.  


superbrood: just remembered i have a bank card and spare dollars around.  


Number1Archer: don't do that! don't go with them!  


AquaKal21: Conner can go if he wants.  


thebetterhoudini: he can't. he's gonna ruin it.  


AquaKal21: ruin what?  


Blastoff: know what, Conner, honey Kal and I are bringing u because we said so and i have no idea what everyone else is talking about.  


superbrood: :D  


redHarp: yet he started it.  


redHarp: and never that face.  


Blastoff: we'll be going now


	4. Games, Games, & Crushes

_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**Number1Archer created chat 'They're Playing Us' and added thebetterhoudini, redHarp, NotSpeedy, feelingtheaster, GreenAlienQueen, and superbrood** _

 

Number1Archer: i feel like they're hiding that they're in a relationship. >:(

 

**_NotSpeedy logging in_ **   
**_feelingtheaster logging in_ **

 

NotSpeedy: agreed, sweetness

feelingtheaster: please don't

 

**_thebetterhoudini logging in_ **   
**_GreenAlienQueen logging in_ **   
**_superbrood logging in_ **   
**_redHarp logging in_ **

 

superbrood: they totally r hiding. they were so chummy with each other at that place.

superbrood: i actually know what it feels like 2 b a third wheel now!

thebetterhoudini: did they share fries?

superbrood: no. but they shared ketchup. i guess cuz Kaldur put extra salt on his

redHarp: becuz i'm his best friend i can say 'salty bitch'

Number1Archer: say it 2 his face n i bet he'll fuck u up real good

redHarp: i don't even doubt it

GreenAlienQueen: back to the matter at hand.

thebetterhoudini: they're dating. they have 2 b.

feelingtheaster: agreed. it would so... strange they wouldn't b.

NotSpeedy: i wonder who asked out who.

Number1Archer: i bet Raquel did. she seemed like she would.

superbrood: i want to disagree but i feel like ur right.

* * *

**_Blastoff logging in_ **   
**_Blastoff created chat 'So Wrong They R' and added AqualKal21_ **   
**_AquaKal21 logging in_ **

 

Blastoff: they think we're dating

Blastoff: i looked back at the chat and realized what they meant and didn't catch then because i was hungry

Blastoff: how wrong they r

Blastoff: didn't we break up months ago?

AquaKal21: we did n unlike most it's not awkward and we're practically best friends.

Blastoff: again, this is y ur my favorite

AquaKal21: n ur my favorite. but don't tell Roy because he gets jealous of anyone who take the best friend role.

Blastoff: both weird and amusing.

AquaKal21: we should play with them.

AquaKal21: make them think we're dating.

Blastoff: have i mentioned u were my favorite?

AquaKal21: more than a couple of times, but i love it!

Blastoff: :D

AquaKal21: :D

Blastoff: how long should we keep up the charade?

AquaKal21: until they figure it out.

Blastoff: that could take weeks.

Blastoff: let's do it!

* * *

**CHAT - 'THEY'RE PLAYING US'**

  
NotSpeedy: we should get back to the original chat b4 they figure out that we know

redHarp: as clueless as they r?

thebetterhoudini: Kaldur needs to put in new applications for best friend replacement.

Number1Archer: maybe this archer!

redHarp: fuck you!

feelingtheaster: Language, Roy!

* * *

GreenAlienQueen: u guys realized it's been a while since we've had a mission?

NotSpeedy: it's great n yet so boring since summer is coming around n school will be out.

AquaKal21: now u know how i feel when i'm not in Atlantis.

redHarp: oh that's how it is!

AquaKal21: or when i'm not with Roy.

Blastoff: or me. ;)

AquaKal21: or Raquel. ;)

thebetterhoudini: we get enough of that from Artemis and Wally.

Number1Archer: we're not that bad.

NotSpeedy: yeah!

feelingtheaster: right. and everyone in this chat is ugly.

Blastoff: i'm glad that u agree we're all beautiful human beings.

GreenAlienQueen: and aliens.

superbrood: and a half human and alien.

AquaKal21: and a half human and Atlantean.

redHarp: is Beyoncé your human parent?

redHarp: is she y ur so beautiful?

thebetterhoudini: XD

AquaKal21: i thought we went over this!

superbrood: she's not the human parent.

AquaKal21: thank you, Conner.

superbrood: she happens to have a long lost Atlantean twin that is Kaldur's mom.

AquaKal21: and i suddenly want to punch u in the face.

superbrood: :)

Blastoff: she sounds awesome though. i would love to meet her.

AquaKal21: ur allowed.

feelingtheaster: already meeting the parents. moving faster that Wally.

NotSpeedy: they're meant 2 b.

Blastoff: who is?

AquaKal21: ???

GreenAlienQueen: they're doing it again!

redHarp: oh yeah. they r meant 2 b.

Blastoff: WHO?!

Number1Archer: u know who!

AquaKal21: I don't!

redHarp: yes u do.

AquaKal21: nope.

Blastoff: not a clue.

redHarp: okay, fine. u win.

AquaKal21: alright. whatever the game was.

Number1Archer: *screaming in a dark deep void*

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

 

Blastoff: I'm enjoying this way 2 much.

AquaKal21: they must learn. they must.

Blastoff: totes.

AquaKal21: speaking of which. how's that one guy u were crushing on?

Blastoff: u knew?!

AquaKal21: i'm not the leader 4 nothing, Raquel. u r lovestruck n i would know it. I saw how u were looking at that one male the other day when we were hanging out.

AquaKal21: and just the following days after.

AquaKal21: n earlier when we were at the restaurant.

Blastoff: all coincidence he shown 2 all those places.

AquaKal21: i believe u.

Blastoff: n i fell for him after we broke up.

AquaKal21: believe that 2.

AquaKal21: now spill it, Raquel.

Blastoff: suddenly i feel sleepy.

AquaKal21: marathon on Todrick Hall videos?

Blastoff: i love u.

Blastoff: he's doing fine, btw.

AquaKal21: how do u know him?

Blastoff: we're going to the same school and he happens 2 have a lot of the same classes i do.

Blastoff: he's so sweet n everything. his name is Adrian.

AquaKal21: want me 2 play wingman?

Blastoff: if i can b ur wingman when u crush on someone 2.

AquaKal21: fair enough.

Blastoff: now about that marathon.

AquaKal21: rendezvous at my room, bring snacks and i got the blankets and pillows.

Blastoff: this is going further prove that we're a 'couple'

AquaKal21: we should sing along to that one video to mess with them.

Blastoff: Yes!

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'THEY'RE PLAYING US'**

  
superbrood: i just saw them go 2 Kal's room.

GreenAlienQueen: saw that 2. Raquel was in the kitchen n grabbed a bunch of snacks. even those seaweed chips Kaldur likes.

redHarp: i thought he hated those.

feelingtheaster: i wouldn't b surprised if his girlfriend is better best friend than u, roy

redHarp: no, he told me this!

redHarp: trickster.

redHarp: probably getting payback from when i repeatedly played the H2O theme song whenever i saw him

NotSpeedy: then i'm not surprised

redHarp: yup, i deserve it. but i love him.

Number1Archer: :)

redHarp: not like that!

Number1Archer: fooled me, Mr. Bro-date

redHarp: and yet u aren't as straight as an arrow either

Number1Archer: okay, okay. one time i kissed Zatanna

thebetterhoudini: dare, but u said i was a good kisser

feelingtheaster: we all have our gay moments.

NotSpeedy: weren't we talking about Kaldur n Raquel?

superbrood: i can hear them singing. n they're not bad.

GreenAlienQueen: in fact, they're great. who knew?

redHarp: Raquel n Kaldur we're talking about here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering that Raquel had a bridal shower during Season 2 and she wasn't engaged to Kaldur (which is mildly disappointing because I love them both together romantically and platonically) and we don't know the dude's name, I just came up with one that popped in my head first. Will he be making an appearance in this? I don't know.


	5. Singing in the Bedroom

**_thebetterhoudini logging in_ **   
**_Number1Archer logging in_ **   
**_superbrood logging in_ **   
**_Blastoff logging in_ **   
**_AquaKal21 logging in_ **   
**_redHarp logging in_ **   
**_feelingtheaster logging in_ **   
**_NotSpeedy logging in_ **   
**_GreenAlienQueen logging in_ **

 

superbrood: thisiswhatiheardsinging.mp4

superbrood: ur welcome

NotSpeedy: that's what i missed not being there?

GreenAlienQueen: yes.

Blastoff: i'm so embarrassed *blushes*

AquaKal21: u have a lovely voice, Raquel

Number1Archer: of course u would think so! ;)

AquaKal21: naturally sweet at heart I am

thebetterhoudini: sounds like someone was bringing out their inner Beyoncé

AquaKal21: okay, stop watching it now.

redHarp: precious u r.

feelingtheaster: u have a better voice than me n i have been told I sound like Jesse McCartney

NotSpeedy: u do, buddy.

feelingtheaster: matched with the face of an angel.

GreenAlienQueen: i am still stunned n this happened yesterday

Blastoff: we stayed up from 6 to 2 this morning.

AquaKal21: i had 2 force her 2 go home afterwards.

Blastoff: my parents knew where i was. besides, they love u.

redHarp: he already met ur parents?!

Blastoff: accidently, but worth it.

AquaKal21: her mom adores me. she low-key would be my mom's best friend.

superbrood: so when the wedding is happening?

AquaKal21: what wedding?

Blastoff: give or take three more years from now.

AquaKal21: i want 2 plan it. even though i don't know who's wedding it will be.

Blastoff: of course u can plan it.

NotSpeedy: this. i did not. c coming.

Number1Archer: anyways, speaking of which, wally, movie date

NotSpeedy: got it, babe.

superbrood: i don't know who's worse.

redHarp: aren't u dating m'gann?

GreenAlienQueen: actually, we're just friends.

GreenAlienQueen: n did i just hear someone laugh?

AquaKal21: sorry, sorry. just thought about something.

Blastoff: i feel u. :D

feelingtheaster: i bet!

GreenAlienQueen: but yeah, we're friends.

superbrood: just friends.

NotSpeedy: so no one to double date with us ever because Zatanna n Dick isn't dating. n Roy's single.

redHarp: sadly. i wants the sex.

Number1Archer: nope.

AquaKal21: M'gann and Conner are dating.

AquaKal21: i caught u kissing.

AquaKal21: liars! shame!

superbrood: damn it. he's right, we r dating.

GreenAlienQueen: we r. <3

superbrood: back at u babe. <3

feelingtheaster: so 3 single people.

Blastoff: who may that b?

feelingtheaster: well, it at u.

feelingtheaster: ain't*

Blastoff: i'm dating someone? i wonder who?!

AquaKal21: Raquel! why didn't u tell me?! who is it?

Blastoff: someone tall, dark n handsome. *insert heart eyes*

AquaKal21: i must meet him to know if he's worthy!

Blastoff: oh he is. husband material.

redHarp: i bet he is.

AquaKal21: he better be! because Raquel is precious 2 me.

Blastoff: :3 <3

feelingtheaster: u 2 r kidding me with this, right?

AquaKal21: still don't know what you're talking about.

thebetterhoudini: i rewatched that video n even though i can only hear singing and see Conner's facial expressions, it has occurred 2 me that Kaldur fits the 'merfolk can sing' myth

AquaKal21: i'm only of the few. i know others who can't.

AquaKal21: i am not trying to be salty about this.

redHarp: Kaldur saying 'salty' just low-key brightened my day.

NotSpeedy: does he ever not brightened your day?

AquaKal21: when i have 2 yell at him. he's an accident prone.

redHarp: fight me

AquaKal21: i would but i do not want 2 embarrass u, my friend.

Blastoff: BURN!

redHarp: i'll let it go this time, Mr. Vocals

AquaKal21: none of u will be letting that go, huh?

Number1Archer: nope.

AquaKal21: i figure as much.

superbrood: no one told u sing ur heart out.

AquaKal21: Raquel, u r a bad influence

Blastoff: i love u

AquaKal21: i forgive u

NotSpeedy: whipped

Number1Archer: can't talk. ur always speeding to cuddle me.

NotSpeedy: because ur the best girlfriend ever.

Number1Archer: oh, u dated others before?!

NotSpeedy: no! NO! only u!

Number1Archer: watching u

superbrood: whipped

GreenAlienQueen: someone's not getting any cookies later

superbrood: no!

GreenAlienQueen: giving them all 2 Wolf.

superbrood: please don't. i'm hungry!

NotSpeedy: I'm hungry 2!

thebetterhoudini: you're always hungry.

NotSpeedy: i can't help it!

AquaKal21: Raquel, we should bake cookies together.

Blastoff: u sent me home!

AquaKal21: i had to! u were hogging my bed!

Blastoff: for a water bed it's so comfortable.

feelingtheaster: i knew u were sleeping on a waterbed.

AquaKal21: fight me

feelingtheaster: i would, but i don't u 2 embarrass me, oh fearless leader

AquaKal21: you can not see it, but i am glaring at you.

feelingtheaster: trust me, i'm actually scared right now.

feelingtheaster: u scare me, Kaldur. u truly do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Low-key, I think when they were designing Kaldur they thought 'Beyoncé'. Can't convince me otherwise.
> 
> Also, hearing my family yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" at midnight on my birthday and me yelling it with them, I realized that I'm an idiot when I'm up writing fanfiction and gets no sleeps.


	6. Chasing the Babe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably the longest chapter so far, I don't know. But still enjoy.

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

  
Blastoff: so um... when u want to play wingman?

AquaKal21: whenever u need me 2.

AquaKal21: y?

Blastoff: well, apparently that boy I like

Blastoff: i heard through the grapevine that he may or may not like me 2 and i'm just curious

Blastoff: i don't want to get my hopes up 2 soon, so i'm asking if u want 2 play spy n find something out 4 me

AquaKal21: Raquel, as your ex, best friend and leader, u know i am down 2 help u.

Blastoff: there should b a day celebrating u

AquaKal21: i think having u as my friend is enough appreciation. :)

Blastoff: :D

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'**

 

_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster logging in** _

 

Number1Archer: dude, Dick, do u have the chem homework?

feelingtheaster: i did do it, but...

Number1Archer: what happened?

feelingtheaster: Jason. he happened. he hid it and i've been looking 4 it.

feelingtheaster: we don't have to turn it in until next week so...

Number1Archer: right!

 

**_NotSpeedy logging in_ **

 

NotSpeedy: Arty, u know i could help u with ur homework. science is my forte!

AquaKal21: of course it is, you magic nonbeliever!

NotSpeedy: okay! i do believe in magic now.

NotSpeedy: n u do awesome magic

AquaKal21: ... i'll take that

Blastoff: i always thought ur magic was amazing, sweetie

AquaKal21: thank you! :)

 

_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _   
_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _

 

GreenAlienQueen: i smelled love so i came running

thebetterhoudini: i heard something about magic n i came running

superbrood: this is a chat

thebetterhoudini: magic!

superbrood: WITCHCRAFT!!!

AquaKal21: does this include me?

redHarp: mermaid magic

AquaKal21: do i look like a mermaid 2 u?

redHarp: u don't want me 2 answer that, babe

feelingtheaster: did u just call him 'babe'?

redHarp: platonic like!

AquaKal21: ;)

redHarp: ffs

Blastoff: u called him 'babe'

redHarp: jelly?

NotSpeedy: roy's not himself 2day. he said 'jelly' n called Kal 'babe'

redHarp: i think i hit my head

Number1Archer: oh, thought this was normal for u.

redHarp: bite me, blondie.

Blastoff: u actually called Kal 'babe'

redHarp: again, jealous?

Blastoff: nope. just agreeing. becuz he is a babe.

AquaKal21: I'm blushing. I really am.

thebetterhoudini: i bet it's really cute

AquaKal21: stop! it's called sarcasm!

superbrood: r u hugging ur pillow 2 ur chest like a teenage girl?

NotSpeedy: LMFAO

AquaKal21: no, i'm not

GreenAlienQueen: ur smiling uncontrollably, aren't ya?

AquaKal21: no, just planning how 2 end my suffering

feelingtheaster: please don't.

Blastoff: don't do it, u babe

AquaKal21: by the waves, i swear

thebetterhoudini: i bet ur the type the time 2 smile non-stop after one kiss

AquaKal21: i'm not going to comment on that.

feelingtheaster: is he the type, Raquel?

Blastoff: idk, y?

redHarp: wouldn't u though?

Blastoff: but why?

AquaKal21: i'm going away now.

redHarp: ur gonna break our hearts if u do, babe

AquaKal21: stop calling me that!

Blastoff: BABE!

AquaKal21: :O

thebetterhoudini: u babe!

GreenAlienQueen: babe!

superbrood: babe!

feelingtheaster: babe! Kal is a total babe!

Number1Archer: he's the top babe!

NotSpeedy: he is THE BABE!

AquaKal21: I'm starting 2 hate u all a little

Blastoff: compliments make u fluster don't they?

AquaKal21: ....

 

_**AquaKal21 left this chat** _

 

redHarp: no he didn't! my feelings!

Number1Archer: Wally just dropped 2 the floor and started crying

Number1Archer: someone add Kaldur back so my boyfriend can stop being a baby.

NotSpeedy: our aquamarine princess left us

superbrood: ur fast, Wally, but even I think Kaldur could whoop ur ass for calling him that

feelingtheaster: i want 2 c that.

NotSpeedy: suddenly, i have an opened spot for my best friend position

thebetterhoudini: called it

GreenAlienQueen: someone get Kaldur back

GreenAlienQueen: i went 2 his door to get him 2 log back in n he said no

superbrood: i got this!

Blastoff: what is he up 2?

GreenAlienQueen: i think Conner is about 2 be the first person 2 actually defy Kaldur becuz i just saw him kick down the door

GreenAlienQueen: n i never thought i see Kaldur dodge him and run away.

GreenAlienQueen: amusing

Number1Archer: should we get there and save our little guppy?

Blastoff: i feel like that is the right thing 2 do

feelingtheaster: what's going on now?

GreenAlienQueen: they both just ran past me in the kitchen

GreenAlienQueen: Conner says he almost got him, but then he called Kaldur a 'slippery bastard'

redHarp: well, it's not easy fishing

feelingtheaster: roy just landed himself on Kaldur's ass whooping list with me and wally

GreenAlienQueen: now he's nowhere in sight

GreenAlienQueen: Kaldur I mean

Blastoff: i got him

* * *

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

 

Blastoff: heard u ran from Conner

AquaKal21: i did

AquaKal21: hiding right now and no i'm not telling because u might tell

Blastoff: no i won't

AquaKal21: Raquel, all friendship aside, i don't trust u

Blastoff: i will cyber puppy face u

AquaKal21: i'm immune to that. and that's dick and wally's faults

Blastoff: i can believe it

* * *

  
CHAT - THEY'RE PLAYING US

redHarp: they're flirting

thebetterhoudini: i wouldn't b surprised

superbrood: he got away! that slippery bastard!

GreenAlienQueen: i could just use my powers to track him down

superbrood: please do

redHarp: i miss my best friend

feelingtheaster: i'm cooing

NotSpeedy: i'm screenshooting!

Number1Archer: already did!

Number1Archer: but i won't expose u becuz this is in our private chat

Number1Archer: but it's blackmail

redHarp: it's useless blackmail!

thebetterhoudini: u think Raquel will get Kaldur to confess where he is?

superbrood: -_-

GreenAlienQueen: he's in a phase right now

superbrood: where's Wolf? i need something to snuggle with

Number1Archer: snuggle? superboy?

superbrood: m'gann has convinced me that snuggling is good for the soul

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

  
Blastoff: kal, please?

AquaKal21: nope

Blastoff: u do realize M'gann could use her powers 2 find u?

AquaKal21: ....

AquaKal21: she would not DARE

Blastoff: i think she would

AquaKal21: okay, i will go back 2 the chat but i am not revealing where i am

Blastoff: fair enough

* * *

  
Blastoff: Kal has agreed 2 come back 2 the chat but he won't tell me where he is

redHarp: fair enough

Blastoff: that's what i said!

 

_**Number1Archer has added AquaKal21 to 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'** _

 

AquaKal21: i'm back but not happy

feelingtheaster: but we missed u, babe

AquaKal21: this is why i left!

thebetterhoudini: okay, we won't call u 'babe'

thebetterhoudini: we'll leave that 2 raquel

Blastoff: why me?

superbrood: u know why

Blastoff: because i'm the only person Kaldur won't punish?

Blastoff: i mean he'll go after Artemis if he has 2

Number1Archer: he has n i still love him

AquaKal21: if u don't want your arrows 2 go 'missing' again, then don't ever do that again

Number1Archer: i make no promises but i'll take that seriously

NotSpeedy: do i want 2 know what u did, love?

Number1Archer: don't worry ur pretty little head about it

superbrood: but seriously

superbrood: where r u?

AquaKal21: don't worry about it

GreenAlienQueen: i can find u using my powers n conner does have heighten senses

AquaKal21: leave me

redHarp: i'll bring u that dish from that one place u like so much if u tell us where u r

redHarp: um... prince?

AquaKal21: no nicknames

Blastoff: okay

AquaKal21: i hid... nowhere

superbrood: he just came out of nowhere literally

superbrood: like what the fuck?!

GreenAlienQueen: he did.

AquaKal21: hanging around with Batman and Dick u pick up on a few things

feelingtheaster: i have taught our leader how 2 be a ninja!

feelingtheaster: i'm wiping tears now!

feelingtheaster: i also got the chem homework, Artemis

Number1Archer: awesome sauce


	7. KALDUR PUNCH!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this on my brother's birthday. Funny, us first three kids are born in July. My brother and I have a day between our birthdays and then my sister's comes the following week on the 31st.

superbrood: so...

superbrood: we rn't gonna talk about what happened this morning?

 

_**AquaKal21 logging in** _

 

AquaKal21: nope. no reason 2

AquaKal21: i'm sorry about that though

superbrood: it's cool.

superbrood: i had it coming

AquaKal21: i really did not meant it

 

_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _

 

thebetterhoudini: something happened?

superbrood: nope. nothing 4 u 2 b concerned about

AquaKal21: nothing at all

 

_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _

 

GreenAlienQueen: um... Conner? y is your nose BLEEDING?!

thebetterhoudini: okay, just what the hell happened?!

superbrood: nothing! i... fell

GreenAlienQueen: that's that same lie u told me b4!

GreenAlienQueen: now tell me what happened!

superbrood: Wolf attacked me

GreenAlienQueen: lies

 

_**NotSpeedy logging in** _   
_**Blastoff logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _   
_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster logging in** _

 

NotSpeedy: walked in n saw Supes with tissue stuffed in his nostrils

NotSpeedy: connerbleeds.jpg

superbrood: i hate u n ur superspeed

redHarp: dude, what the fuck?

Number1Archer: did u fall or something?

superbrood: ....

superbrood: i did

AquaKal21: he did fall

GreenAlienQueen: they're both lying

Blastoff: Kaldur and lying don't go in the same sentence

redHarp: doesn't sound right

AquaKal21: i can lie, i'm capable.

AquaKal21: but i'm not lying about Conner falling

AquaKal21: i saw this happen

superbrood: yup. i just fell.

feelingtheaster: right. and i'm not Romanian.

feelingtheaster: i can smell the lying from here.

feelingtheaster: u didn't just fall, dude

NotSpeedy: so... they're partially lying?

GreenAlienQueen: i'll read both ur minds

superbrood: okay! okay! i did fall, but... i got punched before that

Blastoff: what the ever loving fuck?

redHarp: ur bleeding.

redHarp: BLEEDING!!!!

superbrood: i am still half human, u know

Number1Archer: but just how hard u got punched? n who in the hell punched u that hard?!

superbrood: they apologized

thebetterhoudini: i figured who it was. Kaldur, i didn't think u had in u

AquaKal21: i didn't mean it!

superbrood: again, i had it coming

AquaKal21: it was real early this morning

superbrood: n dark and apparently Kaldur's night vision didn't kick in

AquaKal21: i seriously was out of it this morning n it was what? 5 this morning?

Blastoff: i'm not even surprised u were up that early

AquaKal21: actually that's the earliest i've been up

redHarp: so what happened exactly?

superbrood: long story short, i sneaked up behind Kal, got punched so hard i fell to the floor

AquaKal21: i am actually ashamed

Number1Archer: just how strong are atlanteans?

feelingtheaster: given that they live in the depths of the sea which means high pressure

feelingtheaster: pretty strong

AquaKal21: i'm not as strong as u would think since i am half human

superbrood: same

superbrood: we're half human bros!

superbrood: Kal n I have our own special club now n u can't take it from us

NotSpeedy: I think u punched him harder than u think, K

GreenAlienQueen: he stopped bleeding n he's laying on the sofa watching star wars

Number1Archer: not surprised

GreenAlienQueen: Wolf just came and just... climbed on him

superbrood: so i got a wolf blanket.

GreenAlienQueen: connernwolf.jpg

GreenAlienQueen: isn't that adorable?

NotSpeedy: not from where i m

superbrood: ur just mad becuz Wolf growled at u

NotSpeedy:... maybe

Blastoff: so Kaldur, r u still feeling guilty?

AquaKal21: yup

Blastoff: marathon?

AquaKal21: which kind?

Blastoff: videos of that secret playlist

AquaKal21: ur place?

Blastoff: got the snacks

AquaKal21: i'll b there

Number1Archer: do u realize that we can see this happening right?

Blastoff: what's happening?

feelingtheaster: ffs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saw the new YJ Season 3 trailer and although excited I needed to see my Kaldur, Raquel, M'gann and Zatanna! But the Aquaman trailer gave me major fangirl feels. Mera shouldn't look that beautiful and Arthur shouldn't be that fine. And Black Manta. Guys, Black MANTA! Ah! Deadly man, but still one of my favorite villains!


	8. Pets & Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does take place literally 3 hours after the last one.

GreenAlienQueen: so it's been 3 hrs n wolf still has conner implanted in the couch

redHarp: its been a week of this chat n i'm still here

AquaKal21: because u love us

redHarp: no, i tolerate them. i appreciate the epicness that is Raquel

Blastoff: aaaawww, thanks!

redHarp: truth. n i love u.

Number1Archer: Raquel?

redHarp: no, but it can apply to her 2.

redHarp: i was talking about my Kal

thebetterhoudini: aaaaaawwww

NotSpeedy: like a bro?

redHarp: yes. he's the only one who is a constant good thing in my life

AquaKal21: even though there are times i want 2 strangle the living shit out of u

feelingtheaster: Kal just cursed!

AquaKal21: oooohhhh, shocker!

Blastoff: we're bad influences

AquaKal21: yes

thebetterhoudini: but.... 'like a bro'?

thebetterhoudini: not sure if i can believe it

redHarp: u can't c it over the screen, but i'm glaring at u

Number1Archer: Kaldur, can u hear the glaring?

AquaKal21: yes

Blastoff: even with a blanket wrapped around him like a burrito

Blastoff: kaldurthehumanfishburrito.jpg

Blastoff: ur welcome

superbrood: ooh, more dirt on Kal

GreenAlienQueen: adorable!

feelingtheaster: first the singing now the blanket

Number1Archer: please tell me that's not a kitten in the background

NotSpeedy: out of all things, that cat is what got u?

Number1Archer: cats trigger me

redHarp: same

Blastoff: isn't she cute? apparently, she has a thing for Kaldur 2.

thebetterhoudini: i like that she said 2

AquaKal21: i would take her with me, but Raquel loves her 2 much

Blastoff: she's our child, so technically u 50% own her

AquaKal21: i can deal with that

feelingtheaster: what's her name?

Blastoff: haven't came up with one yet

AquaKal21: how about Silver? her fur is the color

Blastoff: hm. it fits. Silver it is!

superbrood: so we have a pet mutant dog, a sphere and now a cat

Blastoff: Silver is our love child

NotSpeedy: babe, we should get a pet! a dog!

Number1Archer: i can deal with dogs

feelingtheaster: we thought about getting a dog around the house. the place is too big here.

NotSpeedy: back 2 Roy spreading the love

redHarp: i'll spread ur face!

redHarp: wait...

AquaKal21: my friend, are u sleep deprived again?

redHarp: maybe a little

superbrood: what is the problem with archers and sleeping?

Number1Archer: coffee is one reason!

redHarp: i could go 4 some

redHarp: who wants 2 tag along?

Blastoff: i do! Kal is coming 2!

AquaKal21: when did i agree 2 that?

Blastoff: we can get tea

AquaKal21: i do drink coffee

GreenAlienQueen: i want some!

NotSpeedy: how about we all meet up 4 some at that one coffee place in Happy Harbor?

NotSpeedy: the one that has those comfortable lounge chairs n aesthetic pictures?

Number1Archer: i'm in.

thebetterhoudini: say 30 or so min?

superbrood: i'm in.

superbrood: Wolf finally got off me and i need to stretch me legs

redHarp: that actually made me laugh

GreenAlienQueen: mark that accomplishment off, sweetie. u made someone laugh

superbrood: yippie 4 me

NotSpeedy: supes, imma need u 2 not ever say 'yippie'

superbrood: ... yippie

feelingtheaster: Kal punched him harder than we thought XD

AquaKal21: what the hell?! >:(


	9. Two Archers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a chapter between Roy and Artemis. Probably won't be the first either.

_**Number1Archer has created chat 'What's wrong grumpy' and added redHarp** _

 

Number1Archer: dude, i've never seen u move so quick out that place

Number1Archer: is something up?

redHarp: y in the fuck would i tell u?

Number1Archer: so something is wrong!

Number1Archer: n as ur annoying lil sis u must

redHarp: ...

redHarp: i feel like i can tell u

redHarp: but then i feel as if i can't becuz u might tell the others

redHarp: n i do not need that

Number1Archer: i promise i won't tell unless u want me 2

redHarp: u swear?

Number1Archer: i swear

Number1Archer: i'm not that heartless

redHarp: okay

redHarp: ... well... it's about kaldur

Number1Archer: ....

Number1Archer: what about him?

redHarp: it's nothing bad. depending on how u c it

Number1Archer: what is it?

Number1Archer: r u like in love or something with him?

redHarp: wow, unlike ur archery, u were rite on target

redHarp: hello?

redHarp: crock?

redHarp: girl, r u ok?

redHarp: look, i know this is probably a lot 2 take in

Number1Archer: u damn right!

Number1Archer: srry, i had 2 process that

redHarp: i'm fucked

Number1Archer: truly. i mean... kaldur?

Number1Archer: i mean, i'm not all 2 shocked becuz u 2 r awfully close

Number1Archer: probably more than Wally n Dick r

Number1Archer: but like...

redHarp: the worst part, i realized i have a thing 4 him 2day

redHarp: he's making me soft, crock

Number1Archer: honestly, u 2 would look dangerously smexy together if kaldur wasn't dating raquel

redHarp: no one says smexy anymore

Number1Archer: doesn't matter!

Number1Archer: anyways...

redHarp: i seriously have 2 prepare myself getting over him b4 i fucking lose it

Number1Archer: this is Kaldur we're talking about

redHarp: i know

redHarp: but he just looked so...

redHarp: why in the fuck did he look good in that sweater?!

redHarp: he had fucking sweater paws, Artemis!

Number1Archer: yes. he did.

redHarp: i hate the 'falling in love with your bestie' cliche

Number1Archer: well, again this is Kal.

redHarp: i want 2 put a ring on that finger

Number1Archer: did u use a Beyoncé reference?

redHarp: kal's worth it 4 1

Number1Archer: now i really want 2 share this

Number1Archer: ur being such a lovestruck fool

Number1Archer: but its so cute n so not u n i love it! :3

redHarp: i'll kill u if u tell any1!

Number1Archer: i won't...

Number1Archer: r u sure?

redHarp: YES!

Number1Archer: okay!

Number1Archer: but Kaldur?

redHarp: ...

redHarp: shut up

Number1Archer: i lowkey kinda saw this coming

Number1Archer: u've been kinda flirty with him lately

redHarp: n oddly i noticed raquel doesn't seem 2 either mind it or notice

Number1Archer: she's a sweetheart like that

redHarp: which is y i hate that i like Kaldur!

redHarp: maybe i should shoot for your sister

Number1Archer: plz don't

redHarp: i find her attractive 2 n i could date her

Number1Archer: she would work u like a pony. fawning over kaldur is your best bet

redHarp: nah

Number1Archer: ffs

redHarp: he's happy with Raquel

Number1Archer: i'm not telling u 2 break them up!

redHarp: what r u telling me then becuz u got me confused

Number1Archer: how r u adult-ing?

redHarp: coffee n shooting peeps w/ arrows

Number1Archer: i would judge, but i'm pretty much the same

Number1Archer: okay, how about this? let's wait a week b4 ur officially sure of ur feelings

redHarp: is that how u were sure of ur feels 4 Wally?

Number1Archer: ... yes. i realized how much i adored his butterball-ness n stuff

redHarp: ok

redHarp: but if all else fails... i might bang kal against the nearest wall

Number1Archer: keep ur mermaid fantasies 2 urself, boi!

redHarp: XD


	10. Wedding Planning???

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

 

  
Blastoff: kaldur!

 

_**AquaKal21 logging in** _

 

AquaKal21: good morning 2 u 2, raquel

Blastoff: it's a good morning every morning when i speak 2 u, my elegant merman

AquaKal21: please don't

AquaKal21: now is something up?

Blastoff: not rlly, just wanted 2 c if u were up

AquaKal21: i'm actually about 2 take a shower

AquaKal21: just choosing some clothes before then

Blastoff: well since it's colder now u can wear long sleeved things n not look weird

AquaKal21: well aware

Blastoff: u know that olive green sweater u have? wear that

AquaKal21: this is odd. u giving me fashion advice n we were just saying hello

Blastoff: that's me. but u would look adorable in that sweater

AquaKal21: ... r u planning something?

Blastoff: no. :)

Blastoff: just hang out with me today  
AquaKal21: you r planning something

Blastoff: well, ur just gonna have 2 find out what is it when u come over today, right?

AquaKal21: n somehow i still love u

* * *

 

** CHAT - WELCOME PEASANTS! **

Number1Archer: so like...

Number1Archer: Wally might b the best BF ever

 

_**feelingtheaster logging in** _  
_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _  
_**NotSpeedy logging in** _  
_**redHarp logging in** _  
_**superbrood logging in** _  
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _

 

NotSpeedy: aaaawwww, thx babe! :D <3

feelingtheaster: this is too much sugar for my intake

GreenAlienQueen: that's cute

NotSpeedy: what brought this up?

Number1Archer: nothing. just thought i show u appreciation

Blastoff: i'm cooing right now

superbrood:even i think that's sweet

redHarp: i'm a little jealous that i'm even single right now

Number1Archer: ...

redHarp: don't do it, man

thebetterhoudini: keep that dirty dick in your pants!

feelingtheaster: hey!

AquaKal21: the fact that i've just read that n understood that reference

AquaKal21: Raquel, i thank you 4 showing more movies that didn't involve water

Blastoff: ur welcome

Blastoff: back 2 Wally n Artemis

GreenAlienQueen: just saying, i call being ur maid of honor

thebetterhoudini: aaaahhhhh, i wanted 2 b it!

Number1Archer: i'll decide years from now

redHarp: i call being the priest

superbrood: i thought Kaldur would b the priest

AquaKal21: can i just b the flower boy?

NotSpeedy: i think i just squealed

feelingtheaster: that is pretty cute.

Blastoff: u should wear a flower crown!

Number1Archer: i don't think the flower boy/girl should outshine the bride

NotSpeedy: or the groom

redHarp: srry, but Kaldur's gonna outshine the both of ya

AquaKal21: no i won't. how about i bring the petals down the aisle and then exit the building?

Number1Archer: NO! i want u 2 stay!

NotSpeedy: i haven't proposed yet n wedding planning is already happening

redHarp: so, Wally groom, Artemis bride, Dick is def Wally's best man

feelingtheaster: duh

redHarp: i'm priest, conner groomsman, raquel, zatanna n m'gann bridesmaids one of u being the maid of honor

AquaKal21: n i'm the flower boy

redHarp: then who's gonna b the ring bearer?

feelingtheaster: can i volunteer Jason?

NotSpeedy: totes

feelingtheaster: he says he's excited

Number1Archer: m 'n' m, u should plan my wedding

GreenAlienQueen: i'd be honored, zee can b ur maid of honor

thebetterhoudini: YES, BITCHES!!!

Blastoff: excited?

thebetterhoudini: yes.

thebetterhoudini: u should let me b ur maid of honor

Blastoff: i already got Kaldur 4 that role

superbrood: i didn't know guys could b maids of honor???

Blastoff: there's no gender roles in my territory

superbrood: well cool!

redHarp: y would Kal b ur maid of honor?

Blastoff: becuz he's a ray of actual sunshine

Blastoff: also he'll look cute in a colored tux

Blastoff: thinking mint

AquaKal21: ur 2 sweet

NotSpeedy: i think roy meant 2 ask y would the groom b the maid of honor 2?

AquaKal21: i have no idea what u mean

NotSpeedy: yes u do

AquaKal21: (:

thebetterhoudini: HOW DARE U?!

redHarp: rage

redHarp: btw, where r all of u?

superbrood: hideout w/ m'gann n wolf

NotSpeedy: artemis n i r actually at the beach just outside the hideout

redHarp: out 4 food

feelingtheaster: home, room, googling wedding planners

Number1Archer: i already got 1!

feelingtheaster: 4 me!

Blastoff: i'm holding Kal hostage at my house

superbrood: uh???

AquaKal21: no like she really does have me hostage

Number1Archer: n by that u mean???

Blastoff: kalismypracticedummy.jpg

Blastoff: ur welcome

feelingtheaster: i can't even... is that makeup?

AquaKal21: yes. Raquel wanted to practice makeup and apparently since i am a patient persoon, i'm her practice dummy

NotSpeedy: persoon

superbrood: never thought i c the day

AquaKal21: person*

Blastoff: doesn't he look fab?  
thebetterhoudini: ur cheekbones are so defined

AquaKal21: they're both a curse n a blessing

redHarp: i'd say

Number1Archer: ;)

redHarp: ...

* * *

 

**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

  
Number1Archer: he looks hella fine, huh? ;)

redHarp: urgh...

redHarp: i want 2 take him from her

redHarp: he's literally testing me

Number1Archer: he's wearing that olive sweater. it's cute

redHarp: i've never cn that sweater

Number1Archer: raquel n i got it 4 me like a few months back.

redHarp: i honestly hate n love u both right now

Number1Archer: :)

* * *

 

**CHAT - WELCOME PEASANTS**

  
NotSpeedy: raquel, u did an awesome job

Blastoff: thank u!

AquaKal21: my face doesn't feel like my face

AquaKal21: i feel... glowy

thebetterhoudini: Raquel, did u get kal high on makeup?

GreenAlienQueen: please tell me that's not possible

redHarp: i remember the 'markers can get u high' thing from middle school years

AquaKal21: that was an actual thing?  
superbrood: that sounds ridiculous

AquaKal21: i moving back to Atlantis

redHarp: please don't. i'd miss u 2 much

AquaKal21: okay. because i am the only one u tolerate

feelingtheaster: what about me n wally?

redHarp: i'd miss u guys 2 since we're best friends n all, but kal's special

Number1Archer: roy harper

redHarp: shut up, i know

Blastoff: kal's special 2 all of us

AquaKal21: i'm glad u think so now let's turn the attention on some1 else

GreenAlienQueen: okay.

GreenAlienQueen: raquel, u should do my face one day

thebetterhoudini: and mine

Number1Archer: on my wedding day, i call raquel to do my makeup

Blastoff: so this is what it feels like 2 b appreciated

AquaKal21: mood

superbrood: i love that

NotSpeedy: babe, we should totally go get some food

Number1Archer: u could have told me this outside the chat

Number1Archer: i'm literally right next to you!

NotSpeedy: i wanted them 2 c me call u babe... babe ;)

Number1Archer: ur so fucking adorable

feelingtheaster: wedding bells i hear them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited this chapter watching 'Black Lightning' and I've been watching that show for quite some time and I love it! I will seriously get mad if I miss like two seconds of it.


	11. Confusion, Confusion, Exposure!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that the first mission the Team was on together (Superboy, Aqualad, Robin, Wally, and Miss Martian) ever been on was July 22. That's my birthday! Dudes!

_**Blastoff logging in** _

 

Blastoff: u would not believe what happened! XD

 

_**AquaKal21 logging in** _   
_**NotSpeedy logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _   
_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _   
_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _   
_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster logging in** _

 

AquaKal21: please don't

Blastoff: i gotta. it was both funny n so cute!

Number1Archer: yup, she gotta say it becuz now i'm intrigued

AquaKal21: :,(

superbrood: not gonna work

feelingtheaster: more dirt on our aquamom

redHarp: yup, tell it

AquaKal21: RAQUEL!

Blastoff: love u

Blastoff: so Kal n I went out 2 the dollar store near my neighborhood right 4 some snacks becuz my mom was legit like 'look, i love u both but i'm busy but i'll give u money 2 go 2 the store n stuff n pick me up some sugar'

NotSpeedy: ur mom sounds like a boss

Blastoff: she is

Blastoff: anyways, we walk 2 the store, get there n we browse around 4 snacks and whatnot

Blastoff: ... ;)

AquaKal21: kill me

Blastoff: nope! so we're in the chip aisle n there's another guy.

thebetterhoudini: so far i like where this is going

AquaKal21: i do not

Blastoff: kal n i r just deciding which chips 2 get n the guy had probably heard n whatnot

Blastoff: he just turns n sees us n apparently he must have saw heaven becuz immediately he just smiles n starts a little innocent conversation with us

Blastoff: didn't come off as creepy or anything, just like geniuine nice guy

AquaKal21: he was nice...

superbrood: uh oh, what happened?

Blastoff: he actually compliments us n stuff. like not cheesy pick-up lines n stuff.

AquaKal21: i remember he mentioned how my eyes remind him of the ocean. turns out he was from the islands

Blastoff: n i've never cn Kaldur get so flustered. this boi literally was struck.

AquaKal21: i was not!

AquaKal21: just taken offguard

Number1Archer: honey

redHarp: didn't u tell him u were taken?

Blastoff: i told him i had a boyfriend n he quickly apologized and said he wasn't surprised 2 know i was taken

NotSpeedy: n Kaldur???

AquaKal21: ...

Blastoff: he got a #

AquaKal21: no i didn't!

thebetterhoudini: i'm confused???

superbrood: i thought u r dating someone, Kal

AquaKal21: am i???

redHarp: r u? I would love 2 know

AquaKal21: i'm not sure

Blastoff: probably is by the end of this day

Blastoff: that guy looked really in love

feelingtheaster: so... ur...?

AquaKal21: what?

NotSpeedy: all these years.

AquaKal21: WHAT?

Blastoff: kal's pan.

AquaKal21: yes, yes i am.

feelingtheaster: oh good! Zatanna and i can start a club now

Number1Archer: i doubt any of us is straight in this group, let's b honest

NotSpeedy: disasterous of a bi over here

superbrood: how did it get 2 this?

Blastoff: me blasting Kal

thebetterhoudini: i like how she used 'blasting'

Blastoff: ( ∙_∙) ( ∙_∙)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

GreenAlienQueen: but like... raquel ur taken?

Blastoff: yup

GreenAlienQueen: n Kaldr is dating someone now?

GreenAlienQueen: Kaldur*

feelingtheaster: that actually brightened my fucking day

Number1Archer: his name is still misspelled

Number1Archer: it's SUNSHINE

AquaKal21: what did i say about giving me focus?

Number1Archer: :D

AquaKal21: ... really?

thebetterhoudini: yes! but seriously? Kaldur, u mess of pure goodness, r u dating someone?

AquaKal21: ...

AquaKal21: am I?

superbrood: this is payback from all the fish puns, ain't it?

AquaKal21: ...maybe

redHarp: let's not ignore the fact that Supes said 'ain't'

superbrood: no let's

feelingtheaster: 2 bad becuz it's in my screenshot collection

Blastoff: oh, btw, Kaldur wasn't wearing makeup!

redHarp: he's hot w/o it ssssoooo....

Number1Archer: laying it on thicc huh? (¬‿¬)

redHarp: plz no

GreenAlienQueen: i'm starting 2 think i need more alien friends becuz u all r confusing me!

feelingtheaster: i know someone! i think you'll like her!

NotSpeedy: is it that 1 girl with orange skin? red hair?

feelingtheaster: yes!

NotSpeedy: yup, we need more redheads in this group. add her.

superbrood: there's already u, roy, and m'gann. that's 3.

superbrood: then there's zatanna, dick, me n raquel in the brunet group.

thebetterhoudini: represent!

Number1Archer: but there's only me n kaldur 4 the blondes. if anything, we need more blondes, damn it! there's not many of us! fuck!

AquaKal21: i'm both worried 4 u n agreeing

redHarp: so... ur both natural blondes?

Number1Archer: yes. i'm a blonde asian girl

AquaKal21: yes, this is my natural hair color. my mother has this hair color, but it is more honey

thebetterhoudini: that i have got 2 c

feelingtheaster: so do u look more like ur dad or ur mom?

Number1Archer: r we really having this convo?

Number1Archer: becuz i surely remembered it started with raquel 'blasting' kaldur

Blastoff: EXPOSED, BABE!

AquaKal21: i could kill u right now

AquaKal21: but i love u

Blastoff: thx! n i'm a bad bitch

Blastoff: u can't kill me! (つ▀¯▀)つ

AquaKal21: i shouldn't know that meme, but i do

Number1Archer: u can blame one on me

NotSpeedy: babe

Number1Archer: hey, u, dick n roy may have known kal 4 years

Number1Archer: but a true friend informs their friends of the memes n vines

thebetterhoudini: i honestly thought roy or dick would have told Kaldur about that 1

feelingtheaster: apparently arty beat me 2 the punch

superbrood: sucks doesn't it?

feelingtheaster: yup

AquaKal21: i would cry 4 u, but no

redHarp: aaaand salty Kaldur returns

redHarp: i like it

Blastoff: agreed

AquaKal21: ur making me blush

GreenAlienQueen: i smell the sarcasm from here

NotSpeedy: u know what? ya'll scare me. u do.

thebetterhoudini: omg, Arty, ur BF used "ya'll"

NotSpeedy: ffs!

Number1Archer: {screenshot}

NotSpeedy: ARTEMIS! DELETE IT!

Number1Archer: NOPE!

NotSpeedy: dafuq?!

superbrood: what in the hell is this chat?!

superbrood: i'm so confused.

AquaKal21: when isn't anybody?


	12. Raquel Has a Plan

_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _   
_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**NotSpeedy logging in** _   
_**Blastoff logging in** _   
_**AquaKal21 logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _   
_**Number1Archer logging in** _

 

NotSpeedy: ffs, that's the last time i face Captain Boomerang!

NotSpeedy: ugh!

superbrood: im guessing u were with flash 2day?

NotSpeedy: yeah. boomerang suddenly attacked a jewelry store, we went in, got him n the motherfucker got me in the ankle with one of his fucking boomerangs!

Number1Archer: r u okay? do u need me 2 come over?

NotSpeedy: ... i have ice on it, but u coming over would b nice

redHarp: i swear u 2 r so... ugh

Number1Archer: don't 'ugh' me, Harper!

Number1Archer: like u can talk

thebetterhoudini: wat? is roy lovey-dovey with someone?

redHarp: crock, keep ur eyes open. an arrow might come between them.

Number1Archer: i feel like i should b scared, bitch, but i just ain't

Number1Archer: i would b doing u a favor right now!!!

redHarp: FIGHT ME!

Number1Archer: LOVE 2!

AquaKal21: Wait! Enough!

AquaKal21: what's this favor she speaks of?

redHarp: way 2 go, Crock.

Number1Archer: (*￣з￣)

redHarp: don't fucking kissy face me

Blastoff: no what's the favor?

Number1Archer: nothing major. just... roy

superbrood: i'm curious

GreenAlienQueen: like can i read ur minds 2 find out?

redHarp: u don't want that problem on ur hands

redHarp: i got a dirty dirty mind

Number1Archer: mermaids, bitches and hoes

redHarp: no just no

thebetterhoudini: kal, do u feel offended?

AquaKal21: not really. i'm not a mermaid, bitch or hoe

superbrood: this is y i feel like i should appreciate kaldur more

feelingtheaster: i don't think we appreciate him enough

AquaKal21: okay. it's official.

AquaKal21: i don't attention

Blastoff: i give u lots of attention

AquaKal21: well, yeah.

Number1Archer: i'm feeling jealousy vibes coming from the east

superbrood: who may that b?

Number1Archer: they know who.

redHarp: i doubt they don't

* * *

**CHAT - 'WHAT'S WRONG GRUMPY'**

  
redHarp: BITCH, I LOVE U ON THE LOW-KEY! BUT I WILL KILL U!

Number1Archer: let me do this! i know what i'm doing!

redHarp: UR GONNA BREAK THEM UP!

Number1Archer: m i?

* * *

  
 _ **Number1Archer created chat 'I Know'**_  
_**Number1Archer has added Blastoff**_

 

Number1Archer: honey, raquel, what's the deets on u n kal?

Blastoff: i can guess y created this private chat.

Blastoff: as 4 me n Kaldur, we're going steady

Number1Archer: very steady apparently. ur not dating, r u?

Blastoff: ....

Number1Archer: u aren't, r u? i knew it.

Blastoff: Kaldur n I were dating so long ago, but we broke up on mutual terms

Blastoff: we've been playing u all 4 ever now

Number1Archer: let me tell u, u had me fooled

Blastoff: It was Kal's idea

Number1Archer: n suddenly i love him even more

Number1Archer: that sneaky fish

Blastoff: yup

Blastoff: anyways, y u created this private chat?

Number1Archer: it's roy. even though he told me not 2 tell, but i can't help it.

Number1Archer: as much as we get on each other's nerves, he's still like a big bro 2 me

Blastoff: aaaaawwww! sweet!

Number1Archer: yeah, yeah.

Number1Archer: anyways, he has a thing 4 kaldur n he actually feels bad about it becuz he feels like u n kaldur r happy together n doesn't want 2 get between that

Blastoff: ffs, Roy has feelings

Blastoff: he's an actually tol sinnamon roll

Blastoff: we got 2 help him get that beautiful merman!

Number1Archer: u wouldn't mind it?

Blastoff: fuck no! i think roy n kaldur would b great together!

Number1Archer: we need a plan!

Blastoff: Operation Koy?

Number1Archer: RedSea?

Blastoff: we got 2 get them together

Number1Archer: well roy thinks kaldur is cute

Number1Archer: n that olive sweater? did something 2 him

Blastoff: i think i have a plan! leave this 2 me!

* * *

**CHAT - WELCOME PEASANTS!**

  
NotSpeedy: but i'm just saying, i will probably kill boomer next time he does that

feelingtheaster: fuck it. i think wally the most violent one in the group

Blastoff: KALDUR! GET UR FINE ASS 2 MY HOUSE NOW!

AquaKal21: .... y? you are scaring me right now.

Blastoff: just get here!

AquaKal21: Okay! Okay!

GreenAlienQueen: 0.0

thebetterhoudini: do i got 2 know?

redHarp: i know i don't want 2.

redHarp: but i am worried 4 whatever dangers await my friend

redHarp: n don't u dare!

Number1Archer: just gonna kindly insert the Lenny face here

Number1Archer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

redHarp: FFS! (」゜ロ゜)」

superbrood: ???

redHarp: don't worry about it!!!

NotSpeedy: i'm worrying

AquaKal21: Raquel, i am down the street from ur house n i can literally c u on ur porch waving like a maniac

thebetterhoudini: really now?

Blastoff: yes. i'm just that weird

GreenAlienQueen: n she's the most normal one of us, huh?

Blastoff: i'm that 2

superbrood: boom


	13. What's Up With the Sweaters & Adoption?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place right after the last chapter.

Blastoff: so like... isn't this perfection?

Blastoff: kaldurnsweaters.jpg

Blastoff: Admire that, bitches!

AquaKal21: This is what she wanted me to come over for!

thebetterhoudini: you can't b mad, boi.

thebetterhoudini: u r absolutely cute! <3

AquaKal21: thank u

NotSpeedy: Kaldur has officially became a model for Raquel's fashion antics.

feelingtheaster: dude, jelly

superbrood: i'm starting 2 question all of us, but yes

superbrood: sweaters n kal do mix

GreenAlienQueen: that mint brings out ur eyes

Number1Archer: raquel, i swear if ur not in the fashion business with vixen by the end of this week! u know how 2 put an outfit together!

Blastoff: well, Kaldur needs me.

Blastoff: despite his best qualities he doesn't know how 2 put an outfit together

AquaKal21: i'm right here

Blastoff: it's the truth!

NotSpeedy: isn't Vixen in the modeling business, 2?

Blastoff: yes! ooh! Kaldur, we should work 4 her.

AquaKal21: would love 2. she's honestly one of the best women in my life.

Number1Archer: screenshot!

superbrood: hey roy hasn't said anything

feelingtheaster: is he even online right now?

redHarp: yes i m

redHarp: i'm alive

Number1Archer: unfortunately

thebetterhoudini: shots. fired.

redHarp: everyday i ask myself y i still talk in this thing

NotSpeedy: becuz u would miss us

redHarp: whatever makes u sleep at night

GreenAlienQueen: did u c the pic Raquel sent?

redHarp: actually no, but...

Number1Archer: wait 4 it

redHarp: ...

redHarp: ok, wtf?!

redHarp: how?!

AquaKal21: what?

redHarp: nothing

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHAT'S WRONG GRUMPY'**

redHarp: OKAY

Number1Archer: u can't c it, but i m smirking

Number1Archer: u did c it didn't u?

redHarp: i didn't answer 4 a long time becuz i saw it

redHarp: i was trying 2 compose myself while wondering how in the hell is some1 so hot?

redHarp: i'm both envious n aroused

Number1Archer: i didn't need 2 know about that last part

redHarp: well now u do

Number1Archer: u really r catching feels 4 Kaldur, aren't ya though?

redHarp: it's so unfair! fuck!

Number1Archer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

redHarp: r u sure we're not biologically related?

Number1Archer: no one needs that

redHarp: but seriously

redHarp: is Kaldur trying 2 kill me?!

redHarp: how in the ever living fuck is some1 badass, sexy and cute all at once?

Number1Archer: that's kaldur

redHarp: it was hanging off off his shoulder

redHarp: OFF THE SHOULDER!!

Number1Archer: ur so struck

redHarp: can u blame me though?

Number1Archer: nope

* * *

**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Number1Archer: our boi is so in love

Number1Archer: like boi is catching feels 4 merman

Number1Archer: {sent 2 screenshots}

Blastoff: knew that would do something

Blastoff: n that's my sweater

Blastoff: i haven't worn it becuz it was so big n i couldn't find the right bottoms 4 it yet

Blastoff: but BOOM!

Blastoff: i've created greatness!

Number1Archer: soon he's gonna break

Number1Archer: but we need 2 know if kaldur will go 4 roy

Blastoff: i'll let u know

* * *

**CHAT - 'WELCOME PEASANTS!!!'**

  
superbrood: though what's up with kaldur n the sweaters lately?

AquaKal21: this is a question 4 Raquel

Blastoff: he looks cute with them on

thebetterhoudini: cuddly

NotSpeedy: imagine Supes with a sweater like that on

GreenAlienQueen: OOH! he'll look so adorable!

feelingtheaster: wouldn't b the same effect but yeah

feelingtheaster: he'd b cute.

superbrood: i'm so feeling the love right now

redHarp: don't worry it gete better

redHarp: gets*

AquaKal21: gete

redHarp: TRAITOR!

Number1Archer: gete

Blastoff: gete

thebetterhoudini: gete

GreenAlienQueen: gete

redHarp: the hate is real, just know that

thebetterhoudini: forgive?

redHarp: no

Number1Archer: y it gote 2 b hard 2 gete forgiveness from u?

redHarp: yeah... sleep with BOTH eyes open

Blastoff: oh look!

Blastoff: kaldurtee.jpg

feelingtheaster: i seriously want 2 take lessons from Kaldur on how 2 b naturally cute

AquaKal21: y u have 2 expose me? i thought we had something, Raquel.

Number1Archer: does that shirt say 'SLAY'?

Blastoff: yes

thebetterhoudini: he's doing it right

AquaKal21: anybody else wants to be put in the spotlight?

superbrood: i've been thinking about getting an undercut

feelingtheaster: GET IT!

NotSpeedy: an undercut?

superbrood: yeah. an undercut.

Number1Archer: n u know what that is

superbrood: i'm a clone, not stupid

GreenAlienQueen: i think u should get 1, sweetie

redHarp: the fact u know what that is

superbrood: yes, i do

Blastoff: i say go 4 it

Blastoff: i'll happily cut it 4 u

superbrood: once more Raquel has proved she is awesome

Number1Archer: as her username!

Blastoff: once again

Blastoff: ( ∙_∙)

AquaKal21: Raquel

Blastoff: ( ∙_∙)>⌐■-■

AquaKal21: don't do it

Blastoff: (⌐■_■)

redHarp: i love this girl

feelingtheaster: BTW, where did u get that shirt? i want that shirt!

Blastoff: the SLAY tee?

Blastoff: some store in one of Happy Harbor malls

Blastoff: i got another cropped 4 me

thebetterhoudini: ever wore around Kaldur? :3

AquaKal21: what's with that face? stop with that face.

Blastoff: u know what, i haven't. why?

NotSpeedy: no reason

Blastoff: i'm onto ya'll

superbrood: my smallville senses are tingling!

superbrood: some1 said "ya'll"

feelingtheaster: conner is such a lowkey country boy

NotSpeedy: that would make u n me city boys

GreenAlienQueen: what about Kaldur and Roy?

Number1Archer: in love

Number1Archer: i mean IDK

thebetterhoudini: 0.0

redHarp: suddenly i feel murderous

Number1Archer: boi, bye

Number1Archer: u don't scare me

AquaKal21: is it bad if u were in love with me?

AquaKal21: or vice versa?

redHarp: ...

redHarp: u don't need that answered

thebetterhoudini: where that come from?

redHarp: nowhere

redHarp: BTW, i'm a bit of both

AquaKal21: i do not know about me. i am from the sea

feelingtheaster: yes, u r, Ariel

AquaKal21: the fuck you call me?

Blastoff: beautiful

AquaKal21: thank u

superbrood: n Ariel is a redhead. Kal is blond.

AquaKal21: yes

Number1Archer: i really love this chat

GreenAlienQueen: i know, right?

redHarp: still wondering y i'm in it

Blastoff: becuz of this sexy beast

Blastoff: me

redHarp: Raquel is my spirit animal

superbrood: i honestly thought she was going to say Kaldur

Blastoff: my aqua-babe is sexy 2

AquaKal21: thank you

Blastoff: he seems confident, but he's also really flustered right now

superbrood: is it ur wallpaper?

Blastoff: its my lockscreen

AquaKal21: Conner, u were my friend and now ur nothing 2 me

superbrood: nope, can't do that

superbrood: u technically adopted me first so...

feelingtheaster: yeah, technically ur adopted not by Batman, not by Superman, hell not even by Red Tornado or Black Canary

feelingtheaster: but by Kaldur, our sweet, sweet Kaldur

AquaKal21: i'm glad that i'm unknowingly adopted someone

superbrood: happily adopted

GreenAlienQueen: that's sweet

NotSpeedy: i'm not even surprised

NotSpeedy: u girls... and Roy... should have been there

NotSpeedy: Kaldur was so motivating and sweet to Supes

NotSpeedy: like a mom

AquaKal21: so that means I can ground you, right?

NotSpeedy: did u say that in ur evil voice, i felt like ya did

thebetterhoudini: so if Kal adopted Conner, would this mean he has 2 ask him permission on anything?

AquaKal21: no

redHarp: yes

AquaKal21: Conner is free 2 do whatever he wants

superbrood: so... if i wanted to kill a man, i'm allowed?

AquaKal21: ... if he's a killer himself yes

feelingtheaster: and officially Aqualad is scarier than Batman

superbrood: okay, so... let's say i had a brother i didn't know about until recently

superbrood: metaphorically speaking

superbrood: would u adopt him 2?

AquaKal21: i would.

superbrood: ok

thebetterhoudini: wait, no, i'm curious now

thebetterhoudini: do u have a brother?

superbrood: ....no

NotSpeedy: two Superboys. there's a thought.

GreenAlienQueen: a very good one

Number1Archer: oh my fuck

Blastoff: ⊙▂⊙

GreenAlienQueen: i didn't mean it like that!

redHarp: or did u?

GreenAlienQueen: stop it!

superbrood: u walked into that, babe

GreenAlienQueen: n somehow i still hold feelings 4 u

Number1Archer: its like me n Wally

NotSpeedy: i love u 2, sweetie

NotSpeedy: but r we not going 2 ignore that conner seemed a little uneasy about saying he has a brother

superbrood: i don't

feelingtheaster: but when u think about it, it's possible Cadmus made more than 1 of u

AquaKal21: n 2 think if conner didn't listen 2 me, there would b clones of us

Blastoff: i think i'm fine with 2 Kaldurs walking around

Blastoff: the world would b blessed

AquaKal21: stop it

thebetterhoudini: i would love 4 u 2 adopt me 2

Number1Archer: me 2

feelingtheaster: same!

NotSpeedy: if ur adopting them u have 2 adopt me

Blastoff: i'm the designated coool aunt 2 u kids

GreenAlienQueen: y not the mom?

Blastoff: becuz that's Kaldur's job

AquaKal21: yeah, i'll b leaving this chat again

Blastoff: i'm just going to log u back on. i know ur passcode

AquaKal21: Raquel!

Blastoff: ╮(╯∀╰)╭

AquaKal21: .... for real?

superbrood: u guys can't b adopted

superbrood: Kaldur can only adopt me

redHarp: well, that means ur siblings with a cat so...

Blastoff: that cat is fucking precious thank u

superbrood: well i'm the older sibling then so...

AquaKal21: can i have a say in this?

thebetterhoudini: just sit there n b pretty

AquaKal21: i don't want to

feelingtheaster: so it's been established that conner is adopted by Kaldur?

superbrood: yes. end of conversation.

AquaKal21: what did i agree to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot? I don't know... in other news, another DC/Marvel Crossover story will be showing up soon!


	14. Archer Abs

**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

Number1Archer: come 2 the gym with me today

 

**_redHarp logging in_ **

 

redHarp: its 7 in the morning n ur asking me this?

Number1Archer: yes! it opens at 9 so i'm giving u time

redHarp: at least ur considerate

redHarp: but r u just asking me?

Number1Archer: yes

Number1Archer: thought i spend time with my feelow archer brother becuz i actually do care 4 him

Number1Archer: n on the low-down, u r the 1 i would commit a crime with

redHarp: u just earned some points, sis

Number1Archer: so r u coming?

redHarp: yeah i'll go

Number1Archer: perfect

* * *

thebetterhoudini: guys!

thebetterhoudini: i can do magic!

thebetterhoudini: (/￣ー￣)/‥∵:*:☆*゜★。：：＊☆

thebetterhoudini: TA DA BITCH!

Blastoff: given that's it now ten in the morning n i wake up 2 this i only have 2 ask...

Blastoff: what. the. fuck?

feelingtheaster: Zee, did u get any sleep?

thebetterhoudini: yes!

thebetterhoudini: i can do flower magic 2!

thebetterhoudini: (*`▽’)ノ＾—==ΞΞΞ✿✿✿✿✿

AquaKal21: i can do water magic!

thebetterhoudini: magic buddies!

GreenAlienQueen: u r scaring me.

NotSpeedy: i shouldn't b waking up 2 this!

NotSpeedy: but i am impressed

GreenAlienQueen: which is strange coming from u

superbrood: it would be insanely awkward if u 2 switched magic

AquaKal21: yes, but i always been amazed at Zatanna's abilities 2 chant backwards

thebetterhoudini: thanks!

thebetterhoudini: n i always been amazed on how u don't shock yourself while also controling water

NotSpeedy: i think we all have that thought sometimes

NotSpeedy: like 'wtf, he has the powers of both water and electricity'

AquaKal21: yes, i do

 

_**Number1Archer logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _

 

Number1Archer: look at this hotness!

Number1Archer: archersatthegym.jpg

redHarp: yeet, bitches

NotSpeedy: babe, i've always wanted 2 build a shrine 4 ur abs but i think i might just do it now

Blastoff: i think i might b bi

Number1Archer: i'm glad 2 b ur bi awakening, Raquel

feelingtheaster: roy, duuuuude. those arms.

redHarp: jealous?

feelingtheaster: a little. but i have a perfect ass to make up for it.

NotSpeedy: well okay then

thebetterhoudini: back 2 the magnificence of artemis' abs n roy's arms

redHarp: i worked hard 4 these arms

AquaKal21: very hard apparently

Blastoff: (´꒳`)

AquaKal21: nope

superbrood: wait, did u go to the gym?

Number1Archer: yes we did

superbrood: i wanted 2 go

redHarp: u would break the equipment

superbrood: true true

Number1Archer: but behold! roy without a shirt!

Number1Archer: shirtlessroy.jpg

thebetterhoudini: FUCK!

redHarp: ffs, Artemis

feelingtheaster: and suddenly i find myself attracted to roy

redHarp: please don't

GreenAlienQueen: i'm surprised ur still single, roy

Number1Archer: well, swerving flirting strangers will do that

Blastoff: i'm not surprised that someone was flirting at u

redHarp: yeah well...

NotSpeedy: someone better not have been flirting at u, Artemis

Number1Archer: ha! they tried n instantly i shut that shit down. these abs r 4 Wallace West only, bitches

NotSpeedy: this is why she's the bae

superbrood: cute, real cute

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

AquaKal21: okay... so... i may be in a serious crisis now

Blastoff: does it have 2 do with any1 we know?

AquaKal21: yes

Blastoff: guy or girl?

AquaKal21: male

Blastoff: romantically or platonic?

AquaKal21: ...romantically

Blastoff: attracted to Roy?

AquaKal21: how did you figure that out?

Blastoff: MAGIC POWERS!

Blastoff: now rant 2 me, beautiful

AquaKal21: so I thought i had a little thing for him before but now it's certain I do.

Blastoff: wait! u had a crush on him 4 a while now?!

AquaKal21: yes. but i did not want to say anything because i thought it would go away

AquaKal21: also that he wouldn't have a thing for me

AquaKal21: haven't had the best luck with dating

AquaKal21: except with u, ur the best

Blastoff: thanks

Blastoff: n everyone in our group has a lowkey thing 4 u and honestly i think Roy has the biggest

AquaKal21: i don't know

Blastoff: he flirts with you

AquaKal21: was he?

Blastoff: u poor unfortunate soul

Blastoff: u don't know when some1 is totally into u

AquaKal21: 1, don't little mermaid me

AquaKal21: 2, ... maybe my flirt meter is broken

AquaKal21: help me

Blastoff: i will

AquaKal21: I'm coming over because i need pity cuddles

Blastoff: i'll get netflix up n running, sweetie

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

 

Blastoff: {sent 3 screenshots}

Blastoff: it's confirmed

Blastoff: Operation Koy is a go

Number1Archer: fucking hella yes!

* * *

  
feelingtheaster: u know how 2 get a perfect ass? squats, bitches!

superbrood: aaaaannnnnd yeah

NotSpeedy: squats whatever, i doubt any1 can get an ass as perfect as yours

NotSpeedy: i'm saying that in a platonic sense, shut up

AquaKal21: sure

NotSpeedy: precious u r

redHarp: we're still at the gym, btw n i'm texting u on the treadmill

Number1Archer: he is n it's impressive

Number1Archer: royisthetreadmilllord.mp4

GreenAlienQueen: multitasking!

Blastoff: i m amazed

redHarp: i m the treadmill lord!

feelingtheaster: then that gym beam is my territory, thot

redHarp: is that what's it called?

feelingtheaster: i don't know what it's called, but it's mine!

NotSpeedy: i would take the treadmill but...

AquaKal21: if there's a pool i'm in

redHarp: i would love 2 c that

Number1Archer: i fucking bet

Blastoff: oh same

AquaKal21: but still, Artemis n Roy do look mighty fit

Number1Archer: have 2 if we're gonna be jumping on roofs n shit

feelingtheaster: i'm starting 2 think that roy is biologically ur older brother

redHarp: then that would make things mighty complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this was a short chapter. Yeah... it's a short chapter. I'll go for a longer one next.


	15. A Bit of Brotherly Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'll go for a longer chapter, but this idea has been going through my head for a while so...  
> Also, I don't think I have specify or hinted, but this fic happens a little more than a year after season one ended.

_**superbrood has created chat 'a slight prob' and has added feelingtheaster** _

 

superbrood: dick, i have a question

 

**_feelingtheaster logging in_ **

 

feelingtheaster: what's the issue? something wrong? did Wolf eat your shirts again?

superbrood: no, thank god. walking without one for a couple days became uncomfortable

feelingtheaster: m'gann enjoyed it though

superbrood: yeah...

superbrood: my gf did enjoy it

superbrood: anyways, i just want 2 ask... if jason your brother ever wanted 2 meet the team how would u feel about it?

feelingtheaster: whoa. where is this coming from?

superbrood: um... i'll tell u when u answer my question

feelingtheaster: becuz i'm not in the mood for a broken arm, i'll do just that

feelingtheaster: well, if jason told me he wanted 2 meet the team in person i honestly will b a little freaked out

feelingtheaster: surely nervous, but at the same time a little excited he wanted to meet others, ppl that i look 2 as family, my best friends in the world

feelingtheaster: now what's up?

superbrood: well... apparently i have a "older brother" i didn't know about

feelingtheaster: WHAT?!

superbrood: mood

superbrood: apparently cadmus was trying to splice complete kryptonian dna but the first clone was so unstable and feral they had to keep him in containment

superbrood: then i came along with a more stable build with the human dna

feelingtheaster: bro...

superbrood: yeah...

feelingtheaster: how long ago did u find this out?

superbrood: a good month now.

superbrood: match has been staying in smallville with mama kent n he loves her

superbrood: surprisingly he didn't try 2 attack her

feelingtheaster: that woman is precious

superbrood: yup.

feelingtheaster: so... did he want 2 meet us?

superbrood: he expressed it yeah, but i'm not sure how the team will act u know?

feelingtheaster: just know that wally, kal n me won't be 2 bugged about it since we dealt with u

superbrood: ah.

feelingtheaster: does he look exactly like u?

superbrood: actually, i look more like him

superbrood: just our eyes r different

feelingtheaster: gotchu

superbrood: think i should introduce him? or wait a little longer?

feelingtheaster: give it a day or two b4 u do that, give u both some time 2 prepare for the reactions from the others

superbrood: okay, thx

feelingtheaster: happy 2 help! :D

superbrood: 1 more question

feelingtheaster: yes?

superbrood: u think Kaldur will adopt him 2?

feelingtheaster: maybe XD


	16. Conner's Announcement

superbrood: guys i have some announcements 2 make

 

**_AquaKal21 logging in_ **   
**_GreenAlienQueen logging in_ **   
**_redHarp logging in_ **   
**_Blastoff logging in_ **   
**_feelingtheaster logging in_ **   
**_Number1Archer logging in_ **   
**_thebetterhoudini logging in_ **   
**_NotSpeedy logging in_ **

 

redHarp: what's up?

NotSpeedy: finally ready 4 the cape n tights? XD

superbrood: oh god no

superbrood: i've been thinking leather jacket 2 add...

superbrood: anyways...

AquaKal21: wait, leather jacket?

superbrood: ur uniform is a wetsuit, Kaldur.

AquaKal21: ... touche

redHarp: at least u good in the suit, Kal

AquaKal21: thank you, Roy. continue, Conner

superbrood: okay, well... i got a brother

thebetterhoudini: i'm sorry? did i read that rite?

superbrood: yeah... i got a brother

superbrood: well, a clone

superbrood: well i'm his clone technically becuz he came first

NotSpeedy: how come we didn't know about him?

superbrood: ask Cadmus

NotSpeedy: ah

GreenAlienQueen: two superboys?!

superbrood: yeah, babe. n don't call him 'superboy'

superbrood: he has a... issue with superman

Blastoff: no offense, but well expected

superbrood: trust none taken

superbrood: he wants 2 meet u all in person

superbrood: i guess becuz i talk about u 2 him

NotSpeedy: he's not gonna kick our asses like u did us, right?

superbrood: no

superbrood: n i don't think i ever apologized 4 that so sorry

feelingtheaster: i tried gasing n shocking u so forgiven ╮(╯∀╰)╭

Blastoff: i thought shocking was Kal's thing

AquaKal21: still is

NotSpeedy: u know what? i remember being knocked out n waking up in a capsule, so... how did that fight go down?

thebetterhoudini: what fight?

NotSpeedy: Supes n Kal

AquaKal21: oh fuck no

superbrood: not telling that 1

redHarp: whoa what happened?

AquaKal21: nothing

Number1Archer: nope, got 2 tell us now

superbrood: well, i obviously won the fight so there

GreenAlienQueen: but how?!

NotSpeedy: i got 2 know i was unconscious!

redHarp: n artemis, raquel, zatanna and m'gann n me weren't there!

feelingtheaster: u would have been if u didn't quit so early

feelingtheaster: quitter

redHarp: u want an arrow up ur ass, bitch?

feelingtheaster: nothing is going up this perfect ass, thanks

superbrood: plz stop

Blastoff: back 2 this fight between Conner n Kaldur

AquaKal21: no, back away from that. Conner, when would u n ur brother like 2 come 2 the cave?

superbrood: tomorrow's good

superbrood: please don't any of u freak out or provoke him. he's a lot more... angrier than me

NotSpeedy: got u

Number1Archer: bby, i luv ya, but even i know that's not a promise from u

NotSpeedy: love u 2, wifey

thebetterhoudini: still got 2 know about that fight

superbrood: NO!

AquaKal21: NO!

feelingtheaster: i remember Supes attacking Kaldur first

Blastoff: u went after the bae first, Conner? how could u?

superbrood: he was too handsome. look, i was out of my pod the first time ever!

superbrood: n he was standing right in the middle!

AquaKal21: i'm punching u in the fucking face again!

AquaKal21: on purpose!

superbrood: Kaldur, please, nO!

feelingtheaster: Kaldur, yes!

superbrood: fuck you!

superbrood: anyways, tomorrow at the hideout, every1 show up

GreenAlienQueen: yes, so we can meet your... brother

superbrood: babe... no

GreenAlienQueen: what?

superbrood: just no

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this on my baby bro's 2nd birthday. We actually got him this Batman hat and shirt and he recognized the symbol, claiming "BATMAN!!". I think because he hangs around me a lot and I adore DC (and Marvel, because he also recognizes Spider-Man) that he picked up on it. I actually didn't see it coming neither.
> 
> Anyways, I'm thinking about adding Match to the chat. Think I should go for it?


	17. The Weird Brother, The Jealousy

redHarp: i don't like him

superbrood: oh, come on why?

thebetterhoudini: yeah, why Roy?

Number1Archer: Match was such a sweetie

Blastoff: yeah!

redHarp: i just don't

NotSpeedy: unlike Conner, Match didn't punch Kaldur when he first saw him

feelingtheaster: just thought of this, but 'punch at first fight'

thebetterhoudini: hee hee

superbrood: glad u thought me punching one of the best peeps in the face is funny

superbrood: Kaldur adopted me

AquaKal21: i thought about that too. would i be your adoptive dad or brother?

superbrood: well... u've always been a bro 2 me

NotSpeedy: aaaawww :,)

superbrood: but ur also like that cool mom, so... ur my adoptive brom

Blastoff: brom?

superbrood: yup

GreenAlienQueen: really?

superbrood: or bro-mom

feelingtheaster: bromother?

AquaKal21: Dick, we have established the policy of words when it comes to you.

feelingtheaster: ur no fun :(

AquaKal21: oh well then

NotSpeedy: so ur okay with being conner's brom?

redHarp: it's weird

AquaKal21: hey, there r siblings that play the parent role for their siblings everyday

Blastoff: he's right

superbrood: yeah, that's my brom

Number1Archer: how about Match?

redHarp: let's not talk about him. >:(

Number1Archer: he was friendly 2 u though

Blastoff: yeah

redHarp: don't care

superbrood: ... roy, he's not trying 2 compete with u 4 Kaldur's attention

redHarp: he's my best friend n yes that bitch is trying 2

AquaKal21: i'm glad you're so protective of the bestie position, Roy

AquaKal21: n don't call Match a bitch

redHarp: i won't since u told me 2

Number1Archer: :)

redHarp: stop that

redHarp: but Kaldur, don't let him hug u again

AquaKal21: would you rather him punch me?

redHarp: ...

redHarp: fine, he can hug u

Number1Archer: one of my fave songs by Queen B is 'Jealous'

redHarp: CROCK!

Number1Archer: that's my name!

superbrood: Queen B = Beyoncé right?

Blastoff: yup

superbrood: okay, Kaldur's mom, got u

superbrood: oh my fuck my adoptive grandmother is Beyoncé!

AquaKal21: 4 the last time she's not my mother

AquaKal21: i like her, i do. Stans. but she's not my mother

thebetterhoudini: whatev

GreenAlienQueen: btw, ur younger siblings r cute.

NotSpeedy: yeah, the twins r so adorable!

AquaKal21: -_-

 

**_AquaKal21 has left this chat_ **

 

redHarp: nah, bitch

redHarp has added AquaKal21 to chat 'Welcome, Peasants!'

AquaKal21: just leave me be!

Blastoff: ur stuck with us, pal.

AquaKal21: sadly

feelingtheaster: we love u

AquaKal21: uh huh

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

redHarp: i don't like him >:(

Number1Archer: y?

redHarp: i think u know y

Number1Archer: i think if u were Match n u saw Kaldur 4 the 1st time u would want 2 hug him 2

redHarp: i would probably try 2 do more than that, but good point

Number1Archer: i worry 4 u

Number1Archer: but seriously Match means no harm

Number1Archer: i'm sure out of all of us Conner speaks about M'gann n Kaldur the most

redHarp: he didn't hug M'gann

redHarp: he better not touch Kaldur again

redHarp: or a Kryptonite arrow is headed his way

Number1Archer: ur not even together yet n ur already playing the possessive boyfriend role

* * *

**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Number1Archer: roy is head over heels 4 kaldur

Number1Archer: {sent 1 screenshot}

Number1Archer: look at that mess he is!

Blastoff: boi is too in love

Blastoff: this is giving me an idea

Blastoff: like what if we have Roy grow jelly of Match n Kaldur?

Number1Archer: i don't want 2 clean up some blood

Blastoff: right, terrible idea

Blastoff: n i doubt kaldur is into match like that

Number1Archer: but u can't blame him if he was

Blastoff: he is cute

Number1Archer: so wat we gonna do?

Blastoff: lock roy n kal in a closet?

Number1Archer: 4 real?

Blastoff: nah, i kid...

Blastoff: but that shall b our last resort

Number1Archer: got it

* * *

superbrood: okay, despite roy not liking him, i'm adding Match

redHarp: can we vote on that?

superbrood: -_-

redHarp: i'm just asking

superbrood: adding him regardless

thebetterhoudini: ur just worried becuz Match is about 2 become Mr. Steal Yo Bestie

NotSpeedy: I'm gonna say that when Conner adds him

feelingtheaster: i can do background vocals!

AquaKal21: don't do that

NotSpeedy: Kal, u already kno we gon do it

feelingtheaster: SPONTANEOUS!

AquaKal21: everyday i pray 4 u 2

Blastoff: some1 has 2

GreenAlienQueen: so sweetie r u adding him or not?

Number1Archer: Or nah, M'gann. or nah

redHarp: r we allowed 2 kick ppl out the chat?

thebetterhoudini: ur not kicking Match out

redHarp: no i want 2 kick Crock out 4 that comment

Number1Archer: oh u know u love me

redHarp: whatever makes u sleep at night

Number1Archer: u mean whoever

Number1Archer: n by whoever i mean Wall-Man

NotSpeedy: BABE!

Number1Archer: yes, sweet cheeks?

GreenAlienQueen: me n Conner r not as bad as u 2

feelingtheaster: thank goodness 4 that

Blastoff: u remind me of 2 ppl who would make a great couple

AquaKal21: who?

Blastoff: u guys n girls wouldn't know them

Blastoff: but oddly enough they are a ginger n a blonde

Number1Archer: oh word?

Blastoff: uh huh

Blastoff: the redhead is the irrational 1 though

Blastoff: the blonde is super cute n is that mom friend

superbrood: n oddly Kaldur here is blonde n the mom friend

AquaKal21: 1 of those statements r true

GreenAlienQueen: they both r

AquaKal21: I'm going to try 2 strangle myself now

feelingtheaster: plz don't

feelingtheaster: we love u 2 much 2 want that

AquaKal21: ... stop guilt tripping me

Blastoff: well start taking better care of urself!

Blastoff: anyways, they're a cute couple

thebetterhoudini: i bet they're the type where he waits 4 her after class or they're always holding hands

Blastoff: he waits 4 'him' after class n yes they do hold hands

redHarp: wait... they're both guys?

Blastoff: yup! Out n proud!

GreenAlienQueen: AAAAAWWWW!! 2 cute!

* * *

**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Number1Archer: u were talking about roy n kaldur

Number1Archer: i know u were

Blastoff: yup.

Blastoff: got 2 get them thinking, ya know?

Number1Archer: oh yeah

Number1Archer: keep it up

* * *

**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

Number1Archer: so... that couple...

redHarp: i want that with me n kal

redHarp: out n about, kissing n holding hands

redHarp: i wouldn't mind being soft with him

redHarp: he deserves it

Number1Archer: u would make an awesome hubby

redHarp: u mean boyfriend?

redHarp: we're not even dating

Number1Archer: yet


	18. Game, Set, Beyoncé and Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> September 4... hm... I wonder...
> 
> Also, I decided I'm adding Match. Yup, so...
> 
> noturmatch - Match

**_Number1Archer logging in_ **

 

Number1Archer: KALDUR! TELL UR MOM I SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

 

_**AquaKal21 logging in** _   
_**Blastoff logging in** _   
_**redHarp logging in** _   
_**feelingtheaster logging in** _   
_**superbrood logging in** _   
_**GreenAlienQueen logging in** _   
_**NotSpeedy logging in** _   
_**thebetterhoudini logging in** _

 

thebetterhoudini: that's right! it is her birthday! tell her I said the same, Kaldur!

AquaKal21: how many times do I have 2 tell u ppl that Beyoncé isn't my mother?

redHarp: but wouldn't it b awesome if it was?

AquaKal21: ... yeah, but I love the woman who is my mother, Shal'lain'a. i do not want 2 replace her with any other woman.

NotSpeedy: aaawww. that's so sweet.

superbrood: Kal's a mama's boy

AquaKal21: i'm a perfect child, thank you!

feelingtheaster: i'm gonna agree on that just because

Blastoff: but still tell Beyoncé that we said 'Happy Birthday'

AquaKal21: i will if I could, but i can't

GreenAlienQueen: u just don't want 2 do it

AquaKal21: no I just...

AquaKal21: i don't have 2 explain myself 2 u!

Blastoff: kal, we're trying 2 get some free tickets, man

AquaKal21: just become one of her dancers or vocalists or a band member

redHarp: babe, plz

AquaKal21: what is with u calling me 'babe'?

redHarp: seems fitting

Blastoff: again, ur a total babe

superbrood: it's reasons like this which makes me glad i was saved from Cadmus

GreenAlienQueen: speaking of, r u adding Match?

superbrood: we're trying 2 think of a username 4 him n no ur not choosing

superbrood: i love u but no

redHarp: how about... 'no'?

superbrood: Roy Harper!

thebetterhoudini: add him, ignore Roy

redHarp: hey, hey. i'm just cranky

feelingtheaster: do u need a nap?

redHarp: ...probably.

AquaKal21: i worry 4 u

redHarp: mutual

NotSpeedy: but still... Kaldur, just tell her we said hi at least

NotSpeedy: n Conner add Match

AquaKal21: follow her on twitter or something!

Number1Archer: nah

AquaKal21: >:(

redHarp: we love u

AquaKal21: yeah right

superbrood: okay! he got a username

 

_**superbrood has added noturmatch to the chat 'WELCOME, PEASANTS!'** _   
_**noturmatch logging in** _

 

noturmatch: okay so...

thebetterhoudini: HI!

Number1Archer: hello

feelingtheaster: welcome to this disaster we call a chat

NotSpeedy: hey again, Match!

Blastoff: welcome, my boi!

GreenAlienQueen: hi, Match!

redHarp: oh, it's u

AquaKal21: Roy

redHarp: i mean 'sup?

AquaKal21: better

AquaKal21: Hi, Match.

superbrood: hey, match, Kaldur is my brom, so he's urs 2

noturmatch: what's a brom?

Blastoff: well, Kaldur is kinda like Conner's big bro and his mom

Blastoff: it varies

AquaKal21: i still don't think I'm motherly

thebetterhoudini: only the mom friend would say that

superbrood: but it's cool becuz i appreciate u

AquaKal21: ... i'll let it slide 4 now

noturmatch: well...

noturmatch: i really don't know what 2 say

Number1Archer: we'll ask u a question n u answer, how's that?

noturmatch: ok

redHarp: can u leave?

NotSpeedy: roy!

redHarp: i joke

Blastoff: i got 1!

Blastoff: what's ur favorite color?

noturmatch: black

superbrood: :)

GreenAlienQueen: yup. u n Conner r related

NotSpeedy: favorite food?

noturmatch: pretzels

AquaKal21: same, but extra salty

redHarp: becuz u is salty

AquaKal21: u love it

redHarp: i do

Number1Archer: i can see what's happening

Blastoff: What?

redHarp: nothing!

feelingtheaster: hey, match. i got a question.

feelingtheaster: what's ur sexuality?

NotSpeedy: Richard!

Blastoff: i was expecting Kaldur 2 call him out

AquaKal21: whatever

feelingtheaster: i was curious! he doesn't have 2 say if he doesn't want 2!

noturmatch: it's fine.

noturmatch: i haven't really put myself in a group yet, but i know that i can find myself attracted 2 someone

thebetterhoudini: so pan? where ur attracted 2 all genders? or bi? where ur just attracted to both boys n girls?

noturmatch: probably pan. i really don't do that discriminating thing

Number1Archer: oh Kaldur, look, a fellow pan!

AquaKal21: super

superbrood: someone called? ;)

AquaKal21: i'm worried 4 u 2

superbrood: i'm ur... bro-son? Broson! *gasp*

NotSpeedy: did u just spell gasp?

superbrood: yes i did n u can't do anything about it

AquaKal21: Conner, don't throw Wally again

feelingtheaster: oh it's fine if he throws me

AquaKal21: he swung u and then u kicked Batman in the chest

feelingtheaster: i'm the only one here who can say they kicked Batman in the chest

AquaKal21: yes

NotSpeedy: yeah, dude, b grateful he didn't throw u through glass

AquaKal21: or punched u repeatedly n forced u into a ceiling

superbrood: i'm so sorry about that

thebetterhoudini: so is that what happened? u crashed Kaldur into a ceiling?!

superbrood: i was an angry baby kryptonian then

noturmatch: dude...

superbrood: hey, hey, don't judge

noturmatch: he's so awesome though

AquaKal21: thank u :)

redHarp: those smiles r 4 me, Kaldur'ahm

Blastoff: ooh, using the full name

AquaKal21: roy, calm down

AquaKal21: u know u'll always b my bestie

redHarp: okay

feelingtheaster: so platonically gay

NotSpeedy: how existing

Number1Archer: babe, u 2 can NOT talk

feelingtheaster: damn skippy

GreenAlienQueen: ur friendships r 2 cute sometimes

GreenAlienQueen: btw, match, where r u?

thebetterhoudini: ;)

GreenAlienQueen: no

noturmatch: actually i'm at the base but i'm lost

superbrood: u were literally right behind me

noturmatch: well things happen

superbrood: i'm starting 2 think i'm the older brother

noturmatch: u had time 2 mature

noturmatch: i'm still getting there, bitch

superbrood: Kaldur, u c how's he treating me?

AquaKal21: both of u stop it so i can stop being the rational one

noturmatch: okay.

noturmatch: but someone come find me

feelingtheaster: jason is enough problem 4 me 2 deal with rite now

Number1Archer: jumping on the bed?

feelingtheaster: on me!

Blastoff: sucks

GreenAlienQueen: i'm at the store so...

superbrood: urgh, where r u?

noturmatch: i would know if i wasn't lost

superbrood: describe where u r that's what i fucking meant!

AquaKal21: i'll get u

superbrood: becuz i might punch u when i c u

noturmatch: u can kiss my ass, brother

superbrood: no

feelingtheaster: WALLY! WE FORGOT TO DO THE THING!

NotSpeedy: FUCK!

noturmatch: what thing?

feelingtheaster: log out n then log back in

noturmatch: y?

feelingtheaster: just don't it

superbrood: i'm starting 2 regret adding him here

thebetterhoudini: too late we're gonna corrupt him

 

_**noturmatch has logged out** _   
_**noturmatch logging in** _

 

noturmatch: i'm back

feelingtheaster: OOOOOHHH!!! AAAAAHHHH!!! OOOOOHHHH!

NotSpeedy: It's Mister Steal Yo Bestie!!

redHarp: fuck u both!

Number1Archer: wow. I'm dating that.

thebetterhoudini: i use to date that

GreenAlienQueen: i read that in Hamilton lang

superbrood: becuz of u i can't look at money the same way without trying 2 cry

noturmatch: Hamilton?

AquaKal21: it will kill ur feels

Blastoff: i'm starting 2 rub off Kaldur.

Blastoff: only i speak like that

AquaKal21: i might have 2 b a role model 4 others but ur my role model, Raquel

Blastoff: bby, ur precious

redHarp: agreed.

noturmatch: but what that Mister Steal Yo Bestie is about?

redHarp: u don't need 2 know.

superbrood: just know some1 is a little jealous about u stealing their best friend

noturmatch: i'm not gonna do that

AquaKal21: some1 thinks u might

noturmatch: well they better treat their bestie a lot better if they don't want me 2 take them

Number1Archer: shade n i like him

superbrood: i'm so proud of my brother

GreenAlienQueen: bet there's tears

superbrood: a bit i admit

AquaKal21: i found Match by the way

noturmatch: turns out i was right down the hall from his room

redHarp: n stay away from that room!

AquaKal21: roy...

redHarp: i kid

redHarp: u know i noticed we haven't gone out in a while

redHarp: like we should do that

Blastoff: he's been hanging out with me

redHarp: well, now i want him 2 hang out with me

Blastoff: roy, u want 2 throw hands becuz believe i'll catch them

redHarp: step into the light then, Carol Ann!

Blastof: let a bitch try me!

AquaKal21: r u 2 seriously fighting over me

redHarp: ur worth it, my merman

Blastoff: agreed. besides, roy n i actually love each other enough 2 share u

AquaKal21: ...

AquaKal21: i'm going to go stay with my parents 4 a month 2 give you time to get ur shit together

redHarp: after our date

Number1Archer: ;)

redHarp: no

AquaKal21: when do u want 2 do this?

redHarp: be free Saturday. I'm not playing with u

thebetterhoudini: ur friendship is both cute n weird

feelingtheaster: they're the older version of me n Walls

NotSpeedy: then who's Kaldur?

feelingtheaster: me. we're both more rational, secret ninjas, n hot as fuck

Number1Archer: Kaldur is a ninja?

feelingtheaster: do u ever hear him walk up? do u?

Number1Archer: good point

AquaKal21: wait. no one can hear me walking up? i'm barefoot most of the time

superbrood: once or twice even i almost pissed myself

superbrood: ur silent dude

GreenAlienQueen: yup

AquaKal21: hmm

Blastoff: sing every time u come into the room

AquaKal21: NO!

superbrood: but ur a good singer

noturmatch: even i have 2 agree

noturmatch: conner shown me the video

thebetterhoudini: it's the Knowles genes. Kaldur's mommy has been teaching him well

noturmatch: Knowles? As in Beyoncé, Solange, Tina?

Number1Archer: Kaldur is a long lost family member. Beyoncé is his mother

AquaKal21: technically she can't be if we're going by ages here

NotSpeedy: well she's ur sister n Tina is ur mama

AquaKal21: i'm not related period!

AquaKal21: but oddly enough my mother can sing

Blastoff: i bet!

noturmatch: so... ur not related to Beyoncé?

AquaKal21: no

noturmatch: hm

AquaKal21: i'm not

GreenAlienQueen: but can u imagine if Kaldur n Beyoncé met?

AquaKal21: and once again, this conversation is dropped.

superbrood: fine

Number1Archer: still keeping it in our thoughts

AquaKal21: mood? done.

Number1Archer: love u

redHarp: but seriously, saturday just me n u

redHarp: as much as i love Raquel she can't join

Blastoff: but i can do something else

NotSpeedy: which is?

Blastoff: 4 me 2 know n 4 u 2 find out never

NotSpeedy: i think i actually shed a tear

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know I couldn't resist! XD


	19. It's a Date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually found Static Shock on DVD the other day! No, you peeps don't get it, this was one of my shows growing up. I'm not legal to drink yet, but it feels like forever since I first watched it.

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

Blastoff: b4 u go off with Roy come 2 my house

AquaKal21: Raquel I swear if it's something stupid

Blastoff: boi, i'm gonna help u get ready 4 ur date w/ Roy!

AquaKal21: it's not a date

Blastoff: right n Alessia Cara's songs aren't meaningful

Blastoff: Oh! but they r so that means it's a fucking date

Blastoff: u know u want it 2 b

AquaKal21: ... i won't deny it

Blastoff: see?

Blastoff: now u want 2 b laid 2nite or what?

AquaKal21: aren't we still pretending we're dating?

Blastoff: u hook up with Roy n they'll think we're in a poly relationship

Blastoff: that would b 2 funny

AquaKal21: i want u 2 b the godmother of my future kids

AquaKal21: i mean it

Blastoff: n ur the godfather 2 mine

AquaKal21: i'll be over at ur house in a few

Blastoff: great!

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

redHarp: HELP! ARTEMIS!

Number1Archer: the fuck is up with u?

redHarp: Kaldur!

redHarp: fucking Kaldur!

Number1Archer: whoa!

Number1Archer: i do not need 2 know u were having sex!

redHarp: no! we're not!

redHarp: yet

redHarp: anyways... he's gonna be the death of me right now

Number1Archer: what did he do?

redHarp: well right now we're in this diner n we're going 2 c a movie after

Number1Archer: AAAAWWWW!!

redHarp: whatever

redHarp: anyways he's wearing this black jacket with this blue shirt and the shirt just has to have a v-neck!

redHarp: his whole outfit is looking mighty good on him n i want 2 jump him

redHarp: like 'hey, let's make a kid together'

Number1Archer: i love how comfortable u r with sharing ur sexual fantasies with me.

redHarp: i scar u 4 life becuz u r my little sister

Number1Archer: that means i get ur arrows n shit when u die right?

redHarp: ur the only one who can use them

redHarp: so yeah

Number1Archer: yes!

Number1Archer: now back 2 Koy

redHarp: Koy?

Number1Archer: Roy x Kaldur

Number1Archer: get with the program!

redHarp: okay! okay!

redHarp: calm ur tits!

Number1Archer: what's happening now?

redHarp: well, i'm fetching napkins

redHarp: he's sitting at our booth n looking as cute as ever

redHarp: wow he's making me soft

Number1Archer: Kaldur has that effect on ppl

Number1Archer: he's special

Number1Archer: i would hate 2 b on the end of his water sword

redHarp: i would love that

Number1Archer: again i worry

redHarp: do that

redHarp: oh wait some bitch is trying to flirt with my merman

redHarp: i'll text back later

Number1Archer: tell me if u had 2 cut a bitch

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Number1Archer: u had something 2 do with Kaldur's date outfit didn't u?

Blastoff: yup i'm not even going 2 deny it

Blastoff: is it turning Roy into a disaster?

Number1Archer: a bi distaster

Blastoff: so proud of myself

Number1Archer: i'm proud of u 2

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

AquaKal21: Raquel, i m a mess!

Blastoff: so i'm guessing ur date with Roy is going well?

AquaKal21: too well

AquaKal21: we're at the movies right now

AquaKal21: he went 2 the bathroom since the trailers r rolling right now

AquaKal21: but at the diner he went 2 he saved me from a guy trying to get my number, telling him we were dating

AquaKal21: then he paid for everything after i suggested we just split the bill

Blastoff: there's more i know it

AquaKal21: Yes!

AquaKal21: i guess the guy wasn't convinced that we were dating so on our way out, Roy puts his arm around my waist

Blastoff: AAAAWWWW!

AquaKal21: mood

Blastoff: where r u sitting?

AquaKal21: back row. it's kind of empty around us except for another couple

Blastoff: Kaldur, that's the perfect time to cuddle against Roy

AquaKal21: Raquel personal space does exist

Blastoff: honey, he put his arm around your waist

Blastoff: do it

Blastoff: u know u want 2

AquaKal21: i hate how you're right most of the time

Blastoff: u love me

AquaKal21: yeah i do

Blastoff: but seriously, cuddle up to him

Blastoff: trust me

AquaKal21: okay, okay

Blastoff: tell me more after the movie

AquaKal21: alright

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

redHarp: Artemis, i'm most definitely in love

redHarp: he cuddled up against me during the movie

redHarp: for someone who lived in cold temperatures for years he felt so warm

redHarp: i wanted to kiss him

Number1Archer: u should have

redHarp: isn't he dating raquel though?

Number1Archer: is he?

redHarp: Crock!

Number1Archer: hang on

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Number1Archer: we should tell roy u n Kaldur aren't dating

Number1Archer: he feels so guilty about liking him

Blastoff: ok, let's do it

Blastoff: but we got to let him on the joke

Blastoff: it would be more hilarious becuz Roy would get it

Number1Archer: do i need to add u?

Blastoff: yup

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

_**Number1Archer has added Blastoff to chat 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'** _

 

Blastoff: hey roy

Blastoff: kaldur n i aren't dating anymore

Blastoff: we broke up so long ago

redHarp: i would feel surprised but i kinda feel like this might have been happening

redHarp: so you were playing a joke on us the whole time?

Blastoff: yup!

Blastoff: n i'm telling u this becuz we're pals n i want u 2 get ur arrow out ur ass n date that beautiful man

Blastoff: he loves u 2

Blastoff: i'm his best friend 2 n trust me he has told me

redHarp: ...

redHarp: does this mean i get to b in on the joke?

Blastoff: hell yes

redHarp: fair deal

redHarp: so i'll date kaldur n the team will still think he's dating u

Number1Archer: or that its a poly relationship

redHarp: raquel?

Blastoff: yes?

redHarp: 1, be the godmother of kal n mine kids? 2, who decided that u 2 still pretend 2 b in a relationship?

Blastoff: 1, i already told Kaldur i would b so still yes. 2, he did

redHarp: i wished i had a ring right now i'd marry him

Blastoff: but 4 now, just woo the shit out of him

Number1Archer: also when u do kiss him, dip him

redHarp: why?

Number1Archer: just do it

redHarp: ... -_-

Number1Archer: trying 2 get u 2 be romantic damn it

* * *

 

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

AquaKal21: roy just told me he knows me n you aren't dating

Blastoff: i was weak

Blastoff: i had to tell him

Blastoff: he wants 2 date the fucking shit out of u

Blastoff: but he felt guilty becuz he thought we were dating

AquaKal21: holy neptune i'm in love with such a secret chivalrous romantic!

Blastoff: yes u r

AquaKal21: so i did cuddle against him during the movie

Blastoff: n?

AquaKal21: n i kind of wanted to kiss him

AquaKal21: he had his arm around my waist again damn it

Blastoff: i love this!

AquaKal21: shut up

Blastoff: Kaldur, u have no idea how much im squeeing right now 4 u

AquaKal21: im blushing

Blastoff: he's in on the joke btw

Blastoff: roy's gonna pretend he thinks we're dating though he's gonna be dating u

AquaKal21: we're not dating

Blastoff: not yet

AquaKal21: ...

AquaKal21: well, he is giving me bedroom eyes right now even though he's driving

Blastoff: how u know what bedroom eyes look like?

AquaKal21: i've been around Wally, Artemis, Conner n M'gann

AquaKal21: i know what bedroom eyes look like

Blastoff: r u gonna let him kiss u?

AquaKal21: maybe

Blastoff: it's yes or no

AquaKal21: i've been pining after him, of course i would let him kiss me!

Blastoff: good

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

Blastoff: {2 screenshots}

Blastoff: go ahead n kiss the boy, Roy

redHarp: holy fuck

Number1Archer: shook

redHarp: he really does like me?

Number1Archer: u sound like a lovestruck high school girl

redHarp: excuse me for processing that FUCKING KALDUR'AHM is in love with me!

redHarp: i think i can feel this way!

Blastoff: he's gonna kill me for letting u know about his affection for u but if it means u 2 getting together so b it

Number1Archer: when wally n i have kids, i want u 2 b their godmother n aunt

Blastoff: fuck yes

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

AquaKal21: raquel, did u do something?

Blastoff: nope

Blastoff: y?

AquaKal21: well... he kissed me...

Blastoff: WHAT?!

AquaKal21: he just grabbed me and kissed me!

AquaKal21: n dipped me!

Blastoff: does this mean ur canon?

AquaKal21: i'm lucky I learned ur talk

AquaKal21: but i guess so?

Blastoff: damn it none of u ask the other to be boyfriends?

AquaKal21: ... no

Blastoff: kaldur, u do it

AquaKal21: ok

Blastoff: u better

Blastoff: Kaldur?

Blastoff: honey?

Blastoff: bestie? Bae?

Blastoff: boi, what happened?

AquaKal21: srry, he kissed me when i asked him and then asked me to have his babies

AquaKal21: he's a good kisser

Blastoff: so it's canon?

AquaKal21: yeah

Blastoff: aaawww!

AquaKal21: he took me to the beach

AquaKal21: our first two kisses was on the beach!

AquaKal21: its so cliche but i love it

Blastoff: double aaaaawwww! :3

Blastoff: does this mean i can b ur maid of honor?

AquaKal21: we established this

AquaKal21: of course

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'I KNOW'**

Blastoff: they're boyfriends now!

Number1Archer: fucking yes!

Number1Archer: we did it!

Blastoff: we should tell them to buy us food as an award

Number1Archer: def

* * *

  
**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

Number1Archer: u owe me n raq food 4 getting u n kaldur together

redHarp: i'll agree 2 that

Blastoff: n coffee

redHarp: okay

redHarp: thanks btw

Number1Archer: ur welcome

Number1Archer: but remember

Number1Archer: u hurt Kaldur n i'm putting an arrow up ur ass

redHarp: i'll accept that threat 2

Number1Archer: i'm glad we're on the same page

Number1Archer: so it was totally a date, right?

redHarp: started off as just a normal guys hanging out with guys thing n we ended up cuddling n kissing so yeah

Blastoff: knew it

redHarp: ur just right about everything huh?

Blastoff: if i wasn't u n Kaldur wouldn't be boyfriends

 

 


	20. Movies & Mickey D's?? McDonalds???

redHarp: honey!

Blastoff: yes?

AquaKal21: yes?

 

_**Number1Archer, feelingtheaster, superbrood, nouturmatch, GreenAlienQueen, NotSpeedy, and thebetterhoudini logging in** _

 

superbrood: what the hell did i just get into?

noturmatch: i'm still new to this chat

thebetterhoudini: so... kaldur, roy, how was the man date?

Blastoff: ya'll better not have done anything stupid

redHarp: just swerved unwanted suitors, telling them we were dating

feelingtheaster: u mean Kaldur is dating some1?

Number1Archer: someone who's worthy

redHarp: yeah, yeah told them

GreenAlienQueen: but like did u 2 have fun?

AquaKal21: roy taught me the cha-cha slide

thebetterhoudini: what?

AquaKal21: i'm just joking

AquaKal21: or am I? ;)

redHarp: yeah, i m a horrible influence on u

AquaKal21: some1 was bound 2 corrupt me sooner or later

NotSpeedy: sucks it was Roy Harper that got 2 u first

feelingtheaster: n surprisingly not me!

* * *

**_redHarp has created chat 'Just Us' and has added AquaKal21_ **

redHarp: i actually want 2 corrupt u in more ways than 1

redHarp: just saying

AquaKal21: i was preparing myself 4 ur flirting when i realized i had affections 4 u

AquaKal21: n wat do u know? i do want u 2 corrupt me.

redHarp: srry, give me a moment 2 compose myself becuz my boyfriend just hit me with some shit that made me instantly blush

AquaKal21: ;)

redHarp: stop being attractive

AquaKal21: i'll stop when u stop, how's that?

redHarp: stop being sassy

AquaKal21: u love it

redHarp: ...

redHarp: fuck, ur right

AquaKal21: have I ever been wrong?

redHarp: ... i'll get back at u on that

AquaKal21: i'll take it as a no for now

redHarp: yeah, i made the right choice in the boyfriend department.

AquaKal21: it's mutual

redHarp: im buying u mcdonalds

AquaKal21: please don't get me the kids meal again

AquaKal21: i will shock u!

AquaKal21: that box is fucking creepy!

redHarp: i won't, babe

redHarp: on one condition

AquaKal21: what's that?

redHarp: the next time we're all together, let me hold you up bridal style just so we can see how the others react

AquaKal21: ...

AquaKal21: i will permit this

AquaKal21: because i love u n you're getting mcdonalds

redHarp: thank u for making me blush in the middle of a line!

AquaKal21: ;)

redHarp: u troll

redHarp: love u 2

* * *

**CHAT - 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'**

redHarp: i'm @ micky d's any1 want anything?

noturmatch: what in the fuck is that?

thebetterhoudini: mcdonalds

noturmatch: hm. never known

Blastoff: that's right, u better get my food!

AquaKal21: i call coffee

Number1Archer: accepted

Number1Archer: i just want large fries

Blastoff: a Big Mac

GreenAlienQueen: same here

superbrood: i want 2 cheeseburgers

NotSpeedy: 2 10 piece nuggets and large fries

thebetterhoudini: just nuggets 

noturmatch: a kids meal

feelingtheaster: a kids meal 2!

AquaKal21: -_-

Number1Archer: wat?

redHarp: babycakes hates the kids meal

thebetterhoudini: omg y?

redHarp: i brought him one once as a joke n the box really creeped him out

AquaKal21: fucking hate that box

AquaKal21: who in the fuck redesigned that?!

superbrood: brom, im srry but Im laughing my ass off here!

AquaKal21: ur not gonna stop calling me that, huh?

superbrood: nope

noturmatch: sorry, but me neither

AquaKal21: i can't believe i adopted 2 supers without any thought

superbrood: u accepted us? i feel loved!

AquaKal21: my love is rare

thebetterhoudini: like ur natural cheekbones

AquaKal21: y r u all so obsessed with my cheekbones?

feelingtheaster: that's like asking why does batman wear black or just really dark grey

AquaKal21: it's not like that at all

feelingtheaster: yes it is

AquaKal21: no it's not n there's a reason he wears those colors

AquaKal21: he lives in Gotham!

NotSpeedy: everyday Kaldur shows us how awesome he is

NotSpeedy: n everyday i fall a little more in love with him

redHarp: sorry he's taken

Blastoff: that's right!

Number1Archer: ever heard of open relationships?

AquaKal21: nope, not doing this

AquaKal21: no way

AquaKal21: not happening

superbrood: yeah, can't do it with my brother-mom

thebetterhoudini: now that's awkward

GreenAlienQueen: i don't follow

thebetterhoudini: if conner is kaldur's child n brother, that means he had to had sex with their dad

thebetterhoudini: whoever that may be

NotSpeedy: smells like something from ancient greek mythology

AquaKal21: offensive! 0.0

AquaKal21: i'm technically from greece

AquaKal21: on my mother's side

AquaKal21: mythically

AquaKal21: i could be wonder woman's nephew or something for all i know

Number1Archer: that would be so badass

redHarp: n the merman babe over here wouldn't b opening his legs 4 anyone!

Blastoff: #kaldurisqueen

AquaKal21: #canunot?

Blastoff: #nonotever

AquaKal21: #whatamievergoingtodowithu?

Blastoff: #uloveme

AquaKal21: #ido

NotSpeedy: #enoughhastags

Blastoff: #neverenoughhastagsbitch

NotSpeedy: becuz that's raquel i'm not even going to argue

Number1Archer: #raquelisqueen

NotSpeedy: babe not u 2!

Number1Archer: i stans Raquel *innocent shoulder shrug*

Blastoff: i am the best

feelingtheaster: okay, okay

feelingtheaster: i just thought about something awesome

feelingtheaster: movie night at the base with mcdonalds

redHarp: I'm down 4 it

noturmatch: i have nothing better 2 do

superbrood: same! 

NotSpeedy: ooh! we should watch Coraline

Blastoff: im with walls on this one

thebetterhoudini: how about alice in wonderland? talking tim burton version.

thebetterhoudini: its aesthetic

GreenAlienQueen: how about Passengers?

GreenAlienQueen: that space movie with the really pretty lady?

Number1Archer: i like her face so much

redHarp: how about that new movie blockers?

superbrood: i vote in tag

noturmatch: i'm stuck between tag, blockers and passengers

AquaKal21: how about... we just watch them all?

feelingtheaster: let's!

Number1Archer: kal, always the sane one

GreenAlienQueen: i can deal

Blastoff: i agree, babe ;)

AquaKal21: ;)

feelingtheaster: ALL THE SINGLE PEOPLE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

NotSpeedy: i read that in single ladies tune

feelingtheaster: u were meant 2

* * *

**CHAT - 'JUST US'**

redHarp: did u c their faces when I lifted u?

AquaKal21: i think conner's face is stuck like that now

AquaKal21: i'm both amused n worried

redHarp: we should cuddle during the movies

redHarp: wally would flip the fuck out

AquaKal21: come over here so I can sneak kiss u

redHarp: u shouldn't b this tempting

* * *

**CHAT - 'THEY'RE PLAYING US'**

thebetterhoudini: roy?

redHarp: yes?

thebetterhoudini: wtf was that?

redHarp: what was what?

NotSpeedy: I think the part where u lifted Kaldur like he's ur princess

superbrood: i'm still shook

redHarp: he's actually not that heavy

redHarp: n we were having fun

redHarp: trying to c how raquel would act

GreenAlienQueen: she looked mighty surprised

feelingtheaster: ... so not that heavy, huh?

redHarp: try 2 lift him if u want

* * *

**CHAT - 'WHATS WRONG GRUMPY'**

Blastoff: roy harper

Blastoff: is that how ur going to carry Kal over the threshold?

Blastoff: if so let me be there to take pictures n 2 show 2 ur future kids

redHarp: i shall grant u permission!

redHarp: also i want a daughter that looks exactly like him

Blastoff: the world doesn't deserve that much beauty

* * *

**CHAT - 'JUST US'**

AquaKal21: do u want a blanket? i'm going into my room to get a couple of blankets n pillows

redHarp: let me help

AquaKal21: u just want an excuse to make-out don't u?

redHarp: problem?

AquaKal21: no

redHarp: also i want 2 share a blanket so we can hold hands

AquaKal21: ur so soft

redHarp: expectation is u, babe

* * *

**CHAT - 'SO WRONG THEY R'**

Blastoff: since I saw roy disappear after u did, i'm guessing ur making out

Blastoff: but while u n roy r cuddling under the blanket u'll share

Blastoff: i know u will

Blastoff: i should cuddle up 2 ur side 2 to throw the others off

AquaKal21: okay, yes i admit Roy and I were making out

AquaKal21: n yes we should cuddle 2

AquaKal21: i'll be extra warm

Blastoff: n i'll be cuddling with a aquamarine teddy bear

* * *

**CHAT - 'WELCOME PEASANTS'**

superbrood: since movie 1 is done im taking the time to say this

superbrood: roy, kaldur, you're getting awfully chummy on that couch

redHarp: ur just jealous becuz im cuddling Kaldur, ur mom

superbrood: mom

AquaKal21: can u not?

redHarp: i love u

AquaKal21: ...

AquaKal21: i love u 2

Number1Archer: stop this sweet bromance

thebetterhoudini: it's just too adorable right now

Blastoff: i love it

GreenAlienQueen: it's beautiful

feelingtheaster: im getting a little jelly

NotSpeedy: bro?

feelingtheaster: i kid. wally, u know ur the only 1 for me

NotSpeedy: BRO! :,)

Number1Archer: i didn't realize my boyfriend has a boyfriend

feelingtheaster: u went there

Number1Archer: i went there

Number1Archer: but I joke

thebetterhoudini: any1 else though thought it was hella funny when Kaldur jumped seeing Match's happy meal box?

AquaKal21: you are not letting me live that down, huh?

Blastoff: ur squeal was cute

AquaKal21: i'm not cute

redHarp: ur fucking cute

NotSpeedy: so fucking cute

AquaKal21: please fight me

noturmatch: i'm sorry for scaring u though

noturmatch: that box does look creepy

AquaKal21: someone gets me!

superbrood: wow. movie night is interesting.

GreenAlienQueen: i love how we all r in the same room n r talking on the chat

GreenAlienQueen: shows where our communication skills r

thebetterhoudini: we do talk outside the chat though

GreenAlienQueen: there's that

NotSpeedy: n we've been more functional as of late

feelingtheaster: it's weird

Blastoff: how is it weird?

feelingtheaster: i don't know!

feelingtheaster: jason just texted me about he feels betrayed that i didn't bring him along

Number1Archer: u should bring him next time

Number1Archer: let's do movie night again next weekend

AquaKal21: i'll agree on that

redHarp: food?

NotSpeedy: homemade pizza!

superbrood: YAS!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hate the design of the Happy Meal box when they gave it actual human eyes and teeth. It creeps me out when I look at it and all I wondered was how kids could even look at it. I think they went back to the other design where it's just drawn yellow lines which I'm okay with.
> 
> Also, but the time of this being written, Stan Lee has passed and even though this is a DC fic, for all my Marvel fans (I'm one too) I'm sad too. Like... why? Just why, man? Spoiler ALERT AHEAD!!! It's great that he has a cameo in Teen Titans Go to the Movies (true fact, he shows up twice and says 'Excelsior!') and even though I hate that adaptation of Teen Titans (I grew up with the other cartoon), it has only done three things right. One, original voice actors. Two, Stan Lee cameo. Three, Aqualad calling them out. 
> 
> Anyone else excited for the Teen Titans vs Teen Titans Go thing they're apparently coming out with? Like I'm so ready.
> 
> On one more note, I got to 20 chapters! And updated this on the 20th of November?! I didn't realize it until writing this note.
> 
> I'm happy. My shows (Black Lightning and Flash) come on later tonight and my nails are Nightwing blue... with a tint of purple and I love it!


	21. A Filler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, it's Pi Day!
> 
> Also, I've been sick for the past five days and let me tell you I only got a tad bit better. So, yeah, this chapter is pretty short compared to the others and I'm sorry. But I did want to update on this since it's been forever. Same thing with 'Lies & Don't You Dare'.

noturmatch: i kinda want a hug right now

Number1Archer: if i was where u r i would hug u

redHarp: we're at achery with oliver

Number1Archer: archersatarchery.jpg

Blastoff: Artemis in a crop top strikes again!

* * *

**CHAT - 'JUST US'**

AquaKal21: u look amazing in that picture

redHarp: thanks babe

redHarp: u know what? i should teach u archey skills

AquaKal21: will this be an excuse 2 hold me to show me the proper way to hold a bow?

redHarp: yes and no

AquaKal21: anything 2 make u happy

redHarp: i don't deserve u

* * *

**CHAT - 'WELCOME PEASANTS!'**

thebetterhoudini: archery at its finest

feelingtheaster: try gymnastics!

NotSpeedy: or track

AquaKal21: swimming

Blastoff: Kaldur, we all witness how ur r on the field. ur gymnastics n swimming

superbrood: this is like how he can work with electricity n water without harm

AquaKal21: magic

GreenAlienQueen: mermaid magic

AquaKal21: i'm not even

noturmatch: I still want a hug

superbrood: where r u?

noturmatch: where are u?

superbrood: dude, home. ma kent is just taking the pie out the oven

noturmatch: ... i'm coming out the barn!

superbrood: u were in the barn?

NotSpeedy: do any of us want 2 know why?

AquaKal21: actually I do

Blastoff: same

noturmatch: i was just chilling there

noturmatch: i actually bn in there since... ever

noturmatch: i took a nap there, fell asleep and woke up with Krypto sleeping on me

Number1Archer: wait a minute! Krypto?

superbrood: we have two dogs

superbrood: Krypto and Wolf

thebetterhoudini: u got 2 b kidding

superbrood: nope

noturmatch: deadass

GreenAlienQueen: well alright then

AquaKal21: r u 2 still doing achery?

redHarp: nah

redHarp: we're heading 2 the base right now

Blastoff: cool

NotSpeedy: guys! guys! i found chicken strips in the freezer! i haven't had chicken strips in forever!

feelingtheaster: fuck ur chicken strips!

NotSpeedy: my chicken strips have done nothing to u!!!

AquaKal21: is it sad that i actually got that reference or...?

Blastoff: actually it's quite shocking

Blastoff: but then again u hang around us so...

redHarp: we corrupted him

AquaKal21: u all shall feel guilty!

redHarp: not a single bit, honey

superbrood: wow

thebetterhoudini: aaawww

Number1Archer: really, Roy?

feelingtheaster: he's been doing that lately

noturmatch: i am confusion

GreenAlienQueen: that was adorable

redHarp: what? it's something I've been doing 4ever now

Blastoff: wait we're not going 2 ignore the fact that match made a reference?

NotSpeedy: it was pretty good one.

noturmatch: thank u

noturmatch: wanted 2 use it for a wile

noturmatch: while*

superbrood: want a cookie?

noturmatch: u know what?

noturmatch: i'm making sure u don't get a single bite of that pie

superbrood: NNNNNOOOOO!!!!

GreenAlienQueen: should we b concerned?

AquaKal21: this time how about no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if any of you have an idea, a suggestion or whatever for a future chapter I'm open to hear it.


End file.
